|Current mood:|| crushed|
|Current music:||"I'm goin down" by Mary J Blige|
Life isn't fair
You know how u think of things that u want and you think that if you can't have them you'll fall apart? But in the back of your mind there's a lil possibility that you miight not get what u want to u start convincing yourself that you don't really want it in the first place. Then for some odd reason your hopes get built back up again and you think you're gonna get what u want in the first place so you get all giddy and happy. Then reality comes crashing down and you realize that what you really want is already taken or that you can't have it. And so yea ur upset but you can't bring yourself to cry about it (because that would ruin your whole demeanor...u didn't even cry when ur granddad died that you were really close to when u were in the seventh grade) and u certainly can't bring yourself to completely lose it and fall into a state of depression. But deep down it hurts because all your life you were used to getting what u want and just recently it seems like you either don't get what u want, someone else gets it first, or u have it and u lose it or it gets taken away. Why is all this happening to you, this year has been nothing like you want it to be, your grades are slipping, you can't sleep at night, you have migraines all the time, little things seem to bother you, you're always stressed out and u put on your happy face and smile and act like everything is all right when you KNOW its not.
Yea...I know y'all have been there before...it hurts...I guess it just falls under the heading of "life isn't fair" If life was fair, it wouldn't be life...but that still doesn't mean it lessends the pain.