Tonite I went to the show. It was ok.. sorta. Some of the bands were bad, the others were decent. Saw a lot of people I knew, my head was hurting by the end of the night.
We went to dennys afterwards, i spent like 25 dollars on me and appetizers and part of ashlees meal. Thats a lot.
A lot of people from the show started showing up.... I hung out with them for a while, but something just..... snapped.
I like... suddenly just wanted to.. hit everyone that was there. I felt like standing up and just screaming at everyone. I dont know. I had to leave, left without saying bye to anyone, no one even noticed, why would they?
The whole ride home I was thinking horrible things. I dont know.... I havent felt suicidal in so long.... years at least. And there I was thinking about how no one would care if I was gone. I began to ache to cut myself. I want to cut myself again, its been years, and i ache to feel that burning pain.
I wont talk to anyone, ashlee isnt answering me, whatever. Fuck it im going to bed. I just dont give a shit right now.