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And I used to be such a nice person. (mrfish) wrote,
@ 2005-12-07 19:51:00
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    Current mood: distressed

    I guess it's time to find out if I'm dead in the water or still in the game.

    Either way two mental breakdowns in a week isn't too bad.

    Though the first one wasn't too bad. Just standard depressed crying and screaming with the lack of hygiene.

    The second one, now that one, with the pills and the immobility and the periods of tears and screaming, that was new.

    Too much happens at once in my mind. I feel like I've lost a grip. It's not all even about that one problem I consistently have. It seems to mesh into my drinking, my outlook, my loose grasp on reality and my bipolar tendecies.

    Ask Rose out again.

    Trigger catastrophe?
    Probably not. I'm not that emotional right now.

    Start of something good?
    Probably not. I'm not that good a person.



    I really want to numb myself right now.
    But I ran out of painkillers and have no ID.

    My eyes are tired. My body hurts. My mind is gone.
    Just another normal month in the life of Juan.



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