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[[An Obvious Ripoff of Orwell]] Chapter 8 ~ The Crazy Farm~ A FEW days later, when the terror caused by the executions had died down, some of the Herds remembered-or thought they remembered-that the Sixth ComMandment decreed "No Herdsman shall kill any other Herdsman." And though no one cared to mention it in the hearing of the Neo-Cons or the Rovers', it was felt that the killings which had taken place did not square with this. Cloture asked Kennyday to read her the Sixth ComMandment, and when Kennyday, as usual, said that he refused to meddle in such matters, she fetched Muriel. Muriel read the ComMandment for her. It ran: "No Herdsman shall kill any other Herdsman without cause." Somehow or other, the last two words had slipped out of the Herds' memory. But they saw now that the Commandment had not been violated; for clearly there was good reason for killing the traitors who had leagued themselves with Klinton. Throughout the year the Herds worked even harder than they had worked in the previous year To rebuild the Nuclear Power, with walls twice as thick as before, and to finish it by the appointed date, together with the regular work of the farm, was a tremendous labour. There were times when it seemed to the Herds that they worked longer hours and fed no better than they had done in Jones's day. On Sunday mornings Wolfowizz, holding down a long strip of paper with his Cloven Hoof, would read out to them lists of figures proving that the production of every class of foodstuff had increased by two hundred per cent, three hundred per cent, or five hundred per cent, as the case might be. The Herds saw no reason to disbelieve him, especially as they could no longer remember very clearly what conditions had been like before the Rebellion. All the same, there were days when they felt that they would sooner have had less figures and more food. All orders were now issued through Wolfowizz or one of the other Neo-Cons. King George himself was not seen in public as often as once in a fortnight. When he did appear, he was attended not only by his retinue of Rovers' but by a black cockerel who marched in front of him and acted as a kind of trumpeter, letting out a loud "cock-a-doodle-doo" before King George spoke. Even in the farmhouse, it was said, King George inhabited separate apartments from the others. He took his meals alone, with two Rovers to wait upon him, and always ate from the Crown Derby dinner service which had been in the glass cupboard in the drawing-room. It was also announced that the gun would be fired every year on King George's birthday, as well as on the other two anniversaries. King George was now never spoken of simply as "King George." He was always referred to in formal style as "our Leader, King George," and this Neo-Cons liked to invent for him such titles as Father of All Animals, Terror of Mankind, Protector of the media whore sheep, Ducklings' Friend, and the like. In his speeches, Wolfowizz would talk with the tears rolling down his cheeks of King George's wisdom the goodness of his heart, and the deep love he bore to all Herdsmen everywhere, even and especially the unhappy Herdsmen who still lived in ignorance and slavery on other farms. It had become usual to give King George the credit for every successful achievement and every stroke of good fortune. You would often hear one cackling hen remark to another, "Under the guidance of our Leader, King George, I have laid five eggs in six days"; or two cows, enjoying a drink at the pool, would exclaim, "Thanks to the leadership of King George, how excellent this water tastes!" The general feeling on the farm was well expressed in a poem entitled King George, which was composed by Minimus and which ran as follows: Friend of fatherless! Fountain of happiness! Lord of the swill-bucket! Oh, how my soul is on Fire when I gaze at thy Calm and commanding eye, Like the sun in the sky, King George! Thou are the giver of All that thy creatures love, Full belly twice a day, clean straw to roll upon; Every beast great or small Sleeps at peace in his stall, Thou watchest over all, King George! Had I a sucking-Neo-Con, Ere he had grown as big Even as a pint bottle or as a rolling-pin, He should have learned to be Faithful and true to thee, Yes, his first squeak should be King George whose a pig like me!" King George approved of this poem and caused it to be inscribed on the wall of the big barn, at the opposite end from the Seven ComMandments. It was surmounted by a portrait of King George, in profile, executed by Wolfowizz in white paint. Meanwhile, through the agency of Wimpie, King George was engaged in complicated negotiations with Frederick and Filthington. The pile of timber was still unsold. Of the two, Frederick was the more anxious to get hold of it, but he would not offer a reasonable price. At the same time there were renewed rumours that Frederick and his men were plotting to attack Crazy Farm and to destroy the Nuclear Power plant, the building of which had aroused furious jealousy in him. Klinton was known to be still skulking on Stenchfield Farm. In the middle of the summer the Herds were alarmed to hear that three hens had come forward and confessed that, inspired by Klinton, they had entered into a plot to murder King George. They were executed immediately, and fresh precautions for King George's safety were taken. Four Rovers guarded his bed at night, one at each corner, and a young Neo-Con named Pinkeye was given the task of tasting all his food before he ate it, lest it should be poisoned. At about the same time it was given out that King George had arranged to sell the pile of timber to Mr. Filthington; he was also going to enter into a regular agreement for the exchange of certain products between Crazy Farm and Fauxwood. The relations between King George and Filthington, though they were only conducted through Wimpie, were now almost friendly. The animals distrusted Filthington, as a inhuman CEO being, but greatly preferred him to Frederick, whom they both feared and hated. As the summer wore on, and the Nuclear Power neared completion, the rumours of an impending treacherous attack grew stronger and stronger. Frederick, it was said, intended to bring against them twenty men all armed with guns, and he had already bribed the magistrates and police, so that if he could once get hold of the title-deeds of Crazy Farm they would ask no questions. Moreover, terrible stories were leaking out from Stenchfield about the cruelties that Frederick practised upon his Herd. He had flogged an old horse to death, he starved his cows, he had killed a dog by throwing it into the furnace, he amused himself in the evenings by making cocks fight with splinters of razor-blade tied to their spurs. The Herds' blood boiled with rage when they heard of these things beingdone to their Brethren, and sometimes they clamoured to be allowed to go out in a group and attack Stenchfield Farm, drive out the inhuman CEO beings, and set the Herds free. But Wolfowizz counselled them to avoid rash actions and trust in King George's strategy whatever that was. Nevertheless, Anger and Fear Frederick continued to run amok. One Sunday morning King George appeared in the barn and explained that he had never at any time contemplated selling the pile of timber to Frederick; he considered it beneath his dignity, he said, to have dealings with scoundrels of that description. The Neo-Con Pigeons or propaganda who were still sent out to spread tidings of the Rebellion were forbidden to set foot anywhere on Fauxwood, and were also ordered to drop their former slogan of "Death to InHumanity" in favour of "Death to Frederick." In the late summer yet another of Klinton's machinations was laid bare. The wheat crop was full of weeds, and it was discovered that on one of his nocturnal visits Klinton had mixed weed seeds with the seed corn. A gander who had been privy to the plot had confessed his guilt to Wolfowizz and immediately committed suicide by swallowing deadly nightshade berries. The Herdsmen now also learned that Klinton had never-as Many of them had believed hitherto-received the order of "Herd Hero First Class." This was merely a legend which had been spread some time after the Battle of the Bullcrap by Klinton himself. So far from being decorated, he had been swiftboated for showing cowardice in the battle. Once again some of the Herdsmen heard this with a certain bewilderment, but Wolfowizz was soon able to convince them that their memories had been at fault once again. In the autumn, by a tremendous, exhausting effort-for the harvest had to be gathered at almost the same time-the Nuclear Power plant was finished. The machinery had still to be installed, and Wimpie was negotiating the purchase of it, but the structure was completed. In the teeth of every difficulty, in spite of inexperience, of primitive implements, of bad luck and of Terrorist Klinton's treachery, the work had been finished punctually to the very day! Tired out but proud, the Herdsmen walked round and round their masterpiece, which appeared even more beautiful in their eyes than when it had been built the first time. Moreover, the walls were twice as thick as before. Nothing short of explosives would lay them low this time! And when they thought of how they had laboured, what discouragements they had overcome, and the enormous difference that would be made in their lives when the waters were running and the dynamos arcing-when they thought of all this, their tiredness forsook them and they gambolled round and round the Nuclear Power Weapon, uttering cries of triumph. King George himself, attended by his Rovers and his cockerel, came down to inspect the completed work; he personally congratulated the Herds on their achievement, and announced that the Plantl would be named King George Nuke Plant. Two days later the Herdsmen were called together for a special meeting in the barn. They were struck dumb with surprise when King George announced that he had sold the pile of timber to Frederick. Tomorrow Frederick's wagons would arrive and begin carting it away. Throughout the whole period of his seeming friendship with Filthington, King George had really been in secret agreement with Frederick. All relations with Fauxwood had been broken off; insulting messages had been sent to Filthington. The Neo-Con pigeons had been told to avoid Stenchfield Farm and to alter their slogan from "Death to Frederick" to "Death to Filthington." At the same time King George assured the Herds that the stories of an impending attack on Crazy Farm were completely untrue, and that the tales about Frederick's cruelty to his own Herds had been greatly exaggerated. All these rumours had probably originated with that deviant Klinton and his CEO whore man agents. It now appeared that Klinton was not, after all, hiding on Stenchfield Farm, and in fact had never been there in his life: he was living-in considerable luxury, so it was said-at Fauxwood, and had in reality been a pensioner of Filthington for years past. The Neo-Con Repignicans were in ecstasies over King George's cunning. By seeming to be friendly with Filthington he had forced Frederick to raise his price by twelve pounds. But the superior quality of King George's mind, said Wolfowizz, was shown in the fact that he trusted nobody, not even Frederick. Frederick had wanted to pay for the timber with something called a cheque, which, it seemed, was a piece of paper with a promise to pay written upon it. But King George was too clever for him. He had deManded payment in real five-pound notes, which were to be handed over before the timber was removed. Already Frederick had paid up; and the sum he had paid was just enough to buy the Uranium for the Nuclear Power Plant Meanwhile the timber was being carted away at high speed. When it was all gone, another special meeting was held in the barn for the Herds to inspect Frederick's bank-notes. Smiling beatifically, and wearing both his decorations, King George reposed on a bed of straw on the platform, with the money at his side, neatly piled on a china dish from the farmhouse kitchen. The Herds filed slowly past, and each gazed his fill. And Prole put out his nose to sniff at the bank-notes, and the flimsy white things stirred and rustled in his breath. Three days later there was a terrible hullabaloo. Wimpie, his face deadly pale, came racing up the path on his bicycle, flung it down in the yard and rushed straight into the farmhouse. The next moment a choking roar of rage sounded from King George's apartments. The news of what had happened sped round the farm like wildfire. The banknotes were forgeries! Frederick had got the timber for nothing! King George called the animals together immediately and in a terrible voice pronounced the death sentence upon Frederick. When captured, he said, Frederick should be boiled alive. At the same time he warned them that after this treacherous deed the worst was to be expected. Frederick and his men might make their long-expected attack at any moment. Sentinels were placed at all the approaches to the farm. In addition, four Neo-pigeons were sent to Fauxwood with a conciliatory message, which it was hoped might re-establish good relations with Filthington. The very next morning the attack came. The Herdsmen were at breakfast when the look-outs came racing in with the news that Frederick and his followers had already come through the five-barred gate. Boldly enough the Herdsmen sallied forth to meet them, but this time they did not have the easy victory that they had had in the Battle of the Bullcrap. There were fifteen men, with half a dozen guns between them, and they opened fire as soon as they got within fifty yards. The Herdsmen could not face the terrible explosions and the stinging pellets, and in spite of the efforts of King George and Prole to rally them, they were soon driven back. A number of them were already wounded. They took refuge in the farm buildings and peeped cautiously out from chinks and knot-holes. The whole of the big pasture, including the Nuclear Power, was in the hands of the enemy. For the moment even King George seemed at a loss. He paced up and down without a word, his tail rigid and twitching. Wistful glances were sent in the direction of Fauxwood. If Filthington and his men would help them, the day might yet be won. But at this moment the four Neo-Coneons, who had been sent out on the day before, returned, one of them bearing a scrap of paper from Filthington. On it was pencilled the words: "Serves you right." Meanwhile Frederick and his men had halted about the Nuclear Power plan. The Herdsmen watched them, and a murmur of dismay went round. Two of the men had produced a crowbar and a sledge hammer. They were going to knock the Nuclear Power plant down. "Impossible!" cried King George. "We have built the walls far too thick for that. They could not knock it down in a week. Courage, Herdsmen!" But Kennyday was watching the movements of the men intently. The two with the hammer and the crowbar were drilling a hole near the base of the Nuclear Power. Slowly, and with an air almost of amusement, Kennyday nodded his long muzzle. "I thought so," he said. "Do you not see what they are doing? In another moment they are going to pack blasting powder into that hole." Terrified, the Herdsmen waited. It was impossible now to venture out of the shelter of the buildings. After a few minutes the men were seen to be running in all directions. Then there was a deafening roar. The Neo-pigeons swirled into the air, and all the Herdsmen, except King George, flung themselves flat on their bellies and hid their faces. When they got up again, a huge cloud of black smoke was hanging where the Nuclear Power plant had been. Slowly the breeze drifted it away. The Nuclear Power had ceased to exist! At this sight the Herds' courage returned to them. The fear and despair they had felt a moment earlier were drowned in their rage against this vile, contemptible act. A mighty cry for vengeance went up, and without waiting for further orders they charged forth in a body and made straight for the CEO whore man enemy. This time they did not heed the cruel pellets that swept over them like hail. It was a savage, bitter battle. The men fired again and again, and, when the Herdsmen got to close quarters, lashed out with their sticks and their heavy boots. A cow, three media whore sheep, and two geese were killed, and nearly everyone was wounded. Even King George, who was directing operations from the rear, had the tip of his tail chipped by a pellet. But the men did not go unscathed either. Three of them had their heads broken by blows from Prole's hoofs; another was gored in the belly by a cow's horn; another had his trousers nearly torn off by Negropunty and Kondie. And when the nine Rovers' of King George's own bodyguard, whom he had instructed to make a detour under cover of the hedge, suddenly appeared on the men's flank, baying ferociously, panic overtook them. They saw that they were in danger of being surrounded. Frederick shouted to his men to get out while the going was good, and the next moment the cowardly enemy was running for dear life. The Herds chased them right down to the bottom of the field, and got in some last kicks at them as they forced their way through the thorn hedge. They had won, but they were weary and bleeding. Slowly they began to limp back towards the farm. The sight of their dead Hordes stretched upon the grass moved some of them to tears. And for a little while they halted in sorrowful silence at the place where the Nuclear Power plant had once stood. Yes, it was gone; almost the last trace of their labour was gone! Even the foundations were partially destroyed. And in rebuilding it they could not this time, as before, make use of the fallen stones. This time the stones had vanished too. The force of the explosion had flung them to distances of hundreds of yards. It was as though the Nuclear Power had never been. As they approached the farm Wolfowizz, who had unaccountably been absent during the fighting, came skipping towards them, whisking his tail and beaming with satisfaction. And the Herdsmen heard, from the direction of the farm buildings, the solemn booming of a gun. "What is that gun firing for?" said Prole. "To celebrate our victory!" cried Wolfowizz. "What victory?" said Prole. His knees were bleeding, he had lost a shoe and split his hoof, and a dozen pellets had lodged themselves in his hind leg. "What victory, O' Herd? Have we not driven the enemy off our soil-the sacred soil of Crazy Farm? " "But they have destroyed the Nuclear Power. And we had worked on it for two years!" "What matter? We will build another Nuclear Power. We will build six windmills if we feel like it. You do not appreciate, O' Herdsmen, the mighty thing that we have done. The enemy was in occupation of this very ground that we stand upon. And now-thanks to the leadership of King George-we have won every inch of it back again!" "Then we have won back what we had before," said Prole. "That is our victory," said Wolfowizz. They limped into the yard. The pellets under the skin of Prole's leg smarted painfully. He saw ahead of him the heavy labour of rebuilding the Nuclear Power from the foundations, and already in imagination he braced himself for the task. But for the first time it occurred to him that he was getting old and that perhaps his great muscles were not quite what they had once been. But when the Herdsmen saw the green flag flying, and heard the gun firing again-seven times it was fired in all-and heard the speech that King George made, congratulating them on their conduct, it did seem to them after all that they had won a great victory. The Herd members that were slain in the battle were given a solemn funeral. Prole and Cloture pulled the wagon which served as a hearse, and King George himself walked at the head of the procession. Two whole days were given over to celebrations. There were songs, speeches, and more firing of the gun, and a special gift of medal of Freedom was bestowed on a few Rovers, the Herdsmen were left with two ounces of corn for each bird and three biscuits for each dog. It was announced that the battle would be called the Battle of the Nuclear Power, and that King George had created a new decoration, the Order of the Green Banner, which he had conferred upon himself. In the general rejoicings the unfortunate affair of the banknotes was forgotten. It was a few days later than this that the Neo-Con pigs came upon a case of whisky in the cellars of the farmhouse. It had been overlooked at the time when the house was first occupied. That night there came from the farmhouse the sound of loud singing, in which, to everyone's surprise, the strains of Beasts of Empire were mixed up. At about half past nine King George, wearing an old bowler hat of Lord Rottenchilds, was distinctly seen to emerge from the back door, gallop rapidly round the yard, and disappear indoors again. But in the morning a deep silence hung over the farmhouse. Not a Neo-Con appeared to be stirring. It was nearly nine o'clock when Wolfowizz made his appearance, walking slowly and dejectedly, his eyes dull, his tail hanging limply behind him, and with every appearance of being seriously ill. He called the Herds together and told them that he had a terrible piece of news to impart. King George was dying! A cry of lamentation went up. Straw was laid down outside the doors of the farmhouse, and the Herds walked on tiptoe. With tears in their eyes they asked one another what they should do if their Leader were taken away from them. A rumour went round that Klinton had after all contrived to introduce poison into King George's food. At eleven o'clock Wolfowizz came out to make another announcement. As his last act upon earth, Herde King George had pronounced a solemn decree: the drinking of alcohol was to be punished by death. By the evening, however, King George appeared to be somewhat better, and the following morning Wolfowizz was able to tell them that he was well on the way to recovery. By the evening of that day King George was back at work, and on the next day it was learned that he had instructed Wimpie to purchase in Willingdon some booklets on brewing and distilling. A week later King George gave orders that the small paddock beyond the orchard, which it had previously been intended to set aside as a grazing-ground for Herds who were past work, was to be ploughed up. It was given out that the pasture was exhausted and needed re-seeding; but it soon became known that King George intended to sow it with barley. About this time there occurred a strange incident which hardly anyone was able to understand. One night at about twelve o'clock there was a loud crash in the yard, and the Herdsmen rushed out of their stalls. It was a moonlit night. At the foot of the end wall of the big barn, where the Seven Commandments were written, there lay a ladder broken in two pieces. Wolfowizz, temporarily stunned, was sprawling beside it, and near at hand there lay a lantern, a paint-brush, and an overturned pot of white paint. The Rovers immediately made a ring round Wolfowizz, and escorted him back to the farmhouse as soon as he was able to walk. None of the Herdsmen could form any idea as to what this meant, except old Kennyday, who nodded his muzzle with a knowing air, and seemed to understand, but would say nothing. But a few days later Muriel, reading over the Seven ComMandments to herself, noticed that there was yet another of them which the Herdsmen had remembered wrong. They had thought the Fifth ComMandment was "No Herdsmen shall drink alcohol," but there were two words that they had forgotten. Actually the Commandment read: "No Herdsman shall drink alcohol to excess." Post a comment in response: |
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