|Current mood:|| lonely|
|Current music:||The Starting Line~ The Best of ME|
Friday nights shouldn't be boring...
expecially in july when there is no school! speaking of school, it starts in like wut a month?..god this was not a cool summer...i haven't seen n e one at all really except for at floor hockey...the more and more i have time to think the more i think about hany and the more i hate myself for losing him. i love him so much...it's been like 2 years and i know everyone is saying jsut get over it...but you know it isn;t that easy! we did so much and spent so much time together...i just with next year ...in nfa...we could start over and try one more time...i love him and i dun see how we can go from in total and true love ...to him hating me and me crying everynight for 2 years over it...i've tried to move on and have new b/fs but its not the same!! i wish someone could change me or the past...make him love me again cuz deep down sumwhere he still loves me...u dunno how together we were...i used to practically live with him...everyday...every soccor game, every after school function, every new movie...everything!!!!! we were togther...and when it would snow and school would be cancelled...i would get up with my mom at 4 in the morning and she would drop me off at his house to hang out untill about midnight and then the same when there was school except we would get rides to school together there and home....uh i loved it...we were always together...ALWAYS!....not only that but we were the bext couple...the best....everyone never said ashlie or hany they said ashlie and hany when ever they would talk about us individually....no one would try to mess us up...no one...i unfortunatly made the mistake of messing it up myself...but i really dun remember how it happened...all i remember is i was at home talking to him on the fone like we did all the time when we weren't together since we had our own fonelines...but then i said sumthing i dunno wut it was and he said well if your gonna be that way...its over...forever....i was crushed...i hung up imediattly...because i couldn't talk...i was too hysterical...i cried all day and all night...when i had hung up the fone rang and it was tasha...my best friend at the time...if u dun remember her...its natasha kukitch...she moved at the end of 6th grade...well i couldn't tal but she could hear me crying and i had stopped to tell her...then my mom heard me crying and she had to tell my mom wut had happened...it was aweful!...i miss him so much...and if after this u dun see y...u should be shot...lol..i love him and i wanna be with him..he was my one true love and it hurts so much....
~A broken kittie~