| Current mood: |  melancholy |
THIS AND THAT
I think I don't get enough sleep. I work nights and just can't stand to sleep during the day. So basically the only sleep I get are on my nights off. Thankfully I am only working 3 days a week from now on. I have worked like 9 days in a row and by the 5th day I have to sleep some during the day, but it is usually no more then 3 or 4 hours and I wake up, wide awake. If someone is here then I don't even sleep that much. I just can't seem to relax. I wish I didn't have to sleep at all. I really don't like to sleep. I always feel I could be doing something else. I look at people who just love to sleep and sleep til noon and later and it baffles me. I used to take over the counter sleep aides, but that didn't last long.
You never realize how much shit you can accumalate until you are trying to move. I have only been living here since October of last year and already I have amassed more crap than I know what to do with. i am going to throw some of it out. I am not a pack rat and I have thorough house cleanings about 4 times a year.
My Boyfriend and I have been seeing one another almost 6 months now. I am in love with him, which is kinda funny, because this time last year I was in love with another man. Love is funny like that. I give my heart easily, but never lightly. I don't have any of those hangups people have about committment and relationships. I love to be in love and am much happier when I have a man to devote myself to.
Stress can make your chest muscle hurt. I know because lately mine have been in constant pain. I am going to be going into a very stressful situation, one that can't be changed immediately, but is suppose to be temporary. I only pray that it is. If it turns out to be something else entirely then I will have to rethink my position.
I am a very giving person by nature, and that oftentimes puts me in a postion to be taken advantage of. I am tender hearted almost to a fault and have a hard time telling people no. Often I am over loaded with peoples problems and activities that I really don't want to be involved in. If it goes on too long, I usually blow and it just gets ugly from there. I wind up stomping off refusing to even be involved at all. Then guilt sets in and I feel bad for acting poorly. Before it is over I have come back, picked up where I left off and just suck it up.....then the chest muscles get a stress work-out.
My best friend moved to Pa while I was out of town and I didn't get to hug her bye...I miss her so much I want to cry, but she is going back home and that is the best thing for her right now. Besides, I am moving to Jacksonville Fla this weekend. So, we wouldn't be seeing one another much anyway. Oh, how life can change for one day to another. Makes you kinda wonder what tomorrow will bring huh?
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