|Current music:||The Cure "Burn"|
... and so it begins again!
So, here I am again. I am back to maintaining an online journal. As of now, I have no friends on here :( Well, I am sure I will find some. I feel, as though, I am a kid again. As if, keeping a journal is something children do. Well, at least, I can vent out things online rather than keep them to myself. Plus, it is nice to be able to go back a few years from now and read older entries. Being able to see how you have grown over years.
Speaking of which, I went back to my old xanga entries from when I was 16. It is weird to see how immature I was. Though, it is intriguing to see how much I have grown. The things that I was updating about were completely pointless and at the same seemed so important.
I find it funny how we do find things so important at a particular point in time. Then, when we look back, we realize that those things were not so important after all. When I was younger, I was so focused on having a boyfriend. I was not the ugliest girl in school but I did not have my first real boyfriend until I was 18. I always thought it was me, that I was ugly. After thinking about it, it was me but it was the guys. I was too damn picky, I wouldn't just date anyone. Plus, I realized that it was my age group. After high school, I did not date any guy who was my age or younger. All the guys I dated were older. Currently, my boyfriend is 5 years older than I. After thinking about it, the guys in my class were apparently not my type or too immature. At the time, though, dating seemed so important to me. All my friends had a boyfriend, why not I? Though, today, I look back and laugh because it was not all the important in high school. Now, I need Tom. Tom is very important to me. He would not be something I would look back and laugh about.
Anyways, I was just telling Tom last night that I feel like everything in my life is finally falling into place. School sucks more every day but that is only because the semester is almost over with. Though, my job is great. I have yet to be upset with that place. Tom has always felt right to me. Cars have not broken down in about a year (knock on wood!). Family relationships are not perfect but they are getting better every day. Particular friends will always remain my friends. It is weird that I just feel absolutely content with everything, as of late.
Tom has everything to do with that happiness. It is weird to think that I have known him for 5 years and one day we just finally got what we both wanted, each other. He is the first man I can say that I NEVER had had doubts about. That our future together seems bright and right on track. That we both want the same things from one another. We both stand in the exact same position on everything. How we want to raise our kids, what we want for our future. It is crazy to have met someone who believes the exact same as I do. It is crazy to have met someone who is so similiar to me. It gives me such a warm feeling inside.
On another note, I am going to end this and relax a little before my class starts again. Thank god it is the last day for this week. Then, I have two more days next week until Thanksgiving break. I have Thanksgiving off :D