-bends and unbends the bill of his baseball cap, a frown etching across his face as he stares at his blank screen. shoves the cap back onto his head and places his hands down; starts to type rapidly-
Okay, so I think it's time I update about what's been happening. I already admitted I was wrong for liking someone else while I was with her, and I already apologized. But fuck - let's stop antagonizing Matt and saying shit about him, huh? And most of you fuckers who have been saying shit about me, you have no business being all up in my life in the first place, so do yourselves a favor and pay attention to your own shit.
As for her. I apologized for what I did to you. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect hero for you. I'm sorry I couldn't be all the things you were expecting me to be. But I'm not a perfect person. I make mistakes too, just like you and just like every human being on this planet. I have flaws that would make the worst sinner on this earth look like a saint. But saying I never gave a shit about you or that everything about me was a "lie"? What's that? If I never gave a shit about you, I sure as hell would not have asked you out in the first place and I wouldn't have gone out of the way to explain to you why I couldn't break up with you. If I was just some random jackass, I would have either just cheated on you or just break up and not give you a good reason why. So don't say I gave a shit when I obviously did and the sad thing is - despite what you've been saying about me, I still do.
You not being around for me seems to be more out of choice then inconvenience. You seem to be around a fuck of a lot more now that you're with someone else.
It was never out of choice and it sure was never just an inconvenience. I'm sorry I just could not be around for you when you needed me. I had a job to do and believe it or not, I'm still doing it. I didn't just drop everything I was doing to be with Jessica. Yeah, it made things easier because she's on the bus, but I still don't see her that much.
I'm sorry I disappointed you. I feel bad that I made you lose whatever faith in me that you had, but it was better to just tell you instead of lead you around like a stray puppy.
-sighs to himself and rubs his eye tiredly-
I don't fucking know what else to say. There's a lot more that I want to say but either I can't bring myself to say it or I just don't know how to put it into words. It's both actually.
Have a good fucking night.
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