|Current mood:|| tired|
|Current music:||Queen - Innuendo|
Well, the clock is barely 5 PM, and I'm already tired. I hate being like this.
Most of that could boil down to those huge panic attacks I had yesterday. I wish they would just go away. I wish they would just leave me alone! Ah well.
Speaking of, I was evaluated for mental help a while ago, and I got to talk to this nice lady over at the mental hospital. I told her about my problems, but I didn't manage to tell her just how bad it is. So I got rejected a couple of weeks later. Yes, because having angst attacks one to seven days a week isn't worth helping.
So I'm going to the doctor on Tuesday to get him to fix me a re-evaluation. And maybe send my application to some other mental hospitals in the city, mostly private ones. Maybe I'll find anyone who want to help me through this hell. 'cause I'll never get a job if I'm like this. No one wants to give me a job if they can see on my school papers that I've been away from school at least 50% of the time. Not even if my doctor says it was because of illness. I'll still be away that much when I start working.
But hey, it seems like the point system I described in my last post works! I've been able to do a lot of cloth-washing lately. Usually, I don't manage to get myself to do stuff at all on bad days, but lately I've soon gone through the never-ending heap of clothes that inhabited our bedroom floor. I must admit I'm a bit proud of myself. (You might also understand, from the amount of points I've gotten every day so far, that I don't eat much. Sure, I guess I eat enough, but I eat few meals, and tend to eat between meals and stuff. Especially during the holidays.)
Okay, that's it! The sleeping beauty in my bedroom is getting up at 18:00! He's been sleeping on and off for 24 hours now. Poor fellow - he's suffering from ADD and have to handle me on top of everything. I must be very tiring. I'm actually surprised (and unbelievably grateful!) that he has coped with me for soon one-and-a-half year.