"so let the darkness come again"
Last night I had nightmares, all night long. I dreamt about paralysis and vulnerability, I relived past terrors again and again. I woke up with tears on my face... lying on the floor. I have no idea when I got out of my bed.
But now today I have this undercurrent of fragility as a result. these dreams are recurrent and every time I have them... I end up spending a few days feeling like an ancient china plate - still whole but lined with an infinite branching of fine cracks.
I hesitated to post about them, because that seems to make them more real... I know that isn't logical, but I hope it made sense. sometimes the most real things are the ones that aren't logical (or linear or empirical) at all.
I haven't had these dreams in a very long time. every time I think they are gone they come back again. I can't seem to pinpoint any one specific trigger... but tonight it won't be easy to go to sleep.