|Current mood:|| sad|
As much as I love living in Aurelius, I'm always uncomfortable. It's always cold. There is this vent directly across from our door that blows out cold air 24 hours a day. It comes in under the door and hits my face perfectly as I sit on the couch, stinging my eyes while I try to take management notes. My toes are always cold, and when I crawl into bed at night with my 2 blankets, sheet, and comforter, they're still cold. And then I wake up in the morning in a sweat because throughout the night my body heat rose with the blankets. Or sometimes I wake up and the floor is cold and I can't force myself out of bed. Argh!
I love the Amnesty club at school, but sometimes I get really frustrated with it. My optimism slips and I find myself thinking, 'is this really going to do anything? government people just do what they want anyway'. And you know what? They do. They do what's in their interest and not everyone's. But the thing is, it would be a whole lot easier to steamroll over everyone if no one said anything about it. Maybe, just once, that stack of letters on a desk will let someone know that people out there actually care about what goes on outside their doorstep, and they pay attention.
I went to church with Jenn last night on campus. Yeah, it had been awhile, and I think I'll go again. I kept remembering all these bad images of grade school masses with Fr. Franco screaming at us after mass or yelling outside the confessionals. Seriously, maybe I was just a weird kid, but by 5th grade the very thought of going to confession made me sick to my stomach. In 6th grade Ms Demay screamed at our class after mass because some of us girls went to the wrong pew after communion. By the time high school rolled around I was so afraid to go to mass at school and get yelled at I'd practically freak out. So I have this terrible fear of getting yelled at by authority figures in general, and a distaste for church. It does make me sad. But the nice thing about college is you don't have to go if you don't want to. You don't have to sit in a certain place and you don't have to sit next to that stupid boy who draws on himself with marker. So maybe it's time to just get out of my childhood phase of fearing church and get on with it. Until next time.
The adventure continues...