I think the situation is as it stands. I am totally crushing on the man. This happens every single time he shows up. I get all distracted and start over-analyzing and looking for any sort of hint on his part that he might think I am as cute as I think he is handsome.
Then there is the added angst of "Idon'treallycarethathewassupposedtohavebeensomeonetwentyyearsago," "IbetternotlooklikeIlikehimwhichIreallydobecausehe'llthinkIlikehimforadifferentreason," "Ihaven'teverseenhiminthatelement," "thefirsttimeIsawhimhewasastrangerbutIthoughthewasthemosthandsomemanIhadeverseen," "OMGI'dbetternotmakemyselflooklikeadork," and "OMGIthinkIjustmakemyselflooklikeadork." Which leads to the results of me trying so hard not to let on that I like him to the point that maybe I come off as a little rude. I just get so nervous because I have all these weird feelings bubbling through me and I'm am trying so hard to be an adult and rationalize every thing away to the point that I can convince myself that I do not like him which I know is a lie because I do. And yet, even though I do it could never work because I don't even really know him, so there you go, it's all a figment of angst residing in my head. Having said that, why won't the angst go away? I mean, afterall, if I can localize the cause of it and fully understand that it is is stupid silly stuff, then why can't I make the feelings go away.
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