|Current mood:|| loved|
|Current music:||r. kelly|
remember that time when we made love n the roses???
we made love last nite
never b4 n my life have i ever made love. b4 mathew called it goen slow. that was how he made love.
after work i went home n took a shower then went 2 kates apartment. i didnt want 2 go at first cuz i was tired from work n i new we wood do that n i was still unsure bout my body. im happy i went. kate had the bed covered in rose pedals n she made me dinner. on my plate was this sweet card she gotten me that im keepen 4eva n also there was a little note that said were not haven sausage tonite. that made me bust up.
ill keep the good parts 4 my diary hahaha. kate had sum candy kisses n a dish on her bed board. after we made love she unwrapped one n put it n my mouth n kissed me. i told hur that i love hur after she did that n i started cryen. she told me she had been waiten all nite 4 me 2 say that. but she never really said it back.
im NOT that weak n im ashamed i did that n front of hur. i started cryen harder cuz i hate cryen n i hate how i act wit her. she probably thinks im crazy now. im a tough bitch n thats how want 2 act wit everyone.
she slept wit her leg round me n i felt warm all nite. when we woke up she put hur ankle bracelet on me n said i could keep it. we slept n late but we had coffee n talked bout goen to college together at iusb. then i had 2 go cuz she was bout late 4 work.
sissy is goen to indiana state this fall r next year. i want 2 go there wit hur but iusb is cheaper n i want 2 be wit kate. kate said she will look at indiana state so i hope thats where we go.
i got a voice mail from mathew last nite. he was drunk n said he wanted 2 see how i was feelen n that he loved me. mathew is my babies daddy n i will always love him. i hate that i do. he makes me sick.
shaun got a job. he always buys me shit when he gets a job. i like that. i wanted him 2 work wit me at tgi fridays but lilly hired sum fucn fence hopper that cant speak english. me n shaun could have both got 200 dollars if i referred him n he got hired. i could use that 4 college. next time something opens im goen 2 try again. ill make him work wit me cuz he always does whut i want. only bad thing bout shaun worken at fridays is we fight a lot now. he says shit that makes me want 2 throw things at him.