|Current mood:|| lonely|
Some magical point in life where suddenly you are good enough for everyone? Or Some point when you actually just stopping. I dont feel like Im good enough for anyone. Im not what Rick wants me to be, I dont do the things he wants me to do, I dont weigh what my mom wants me to, I dont live life how my dad wants me to, I dont work as much as my aunt thinks I should, I dont what to do the things at work my boss wants me too...and the list goes on. Im so tired of not being anything anyone wants me to be. Cant just one person just accept me and not expect or want anything. Im so sick and tired of life. Im tired of always being the one to share, the one to ask things to take an interest, the one who gets told I dont open up because of how youll react, the one who gets snapped at but hell to anyone else whoever does, the one who is suppossed to be perfect. Im just tired of it all. I just want to go lock myself in a room filled with books and no people. Im sure I would be fine. What are people but disappointments anyway? I try not to expect things but I just cant help it and I live a rather disappointed life. Usually Im fine and then things like this where pretty much I realize I have failed and will never be who people think I will be or do the things people want me to be when I realize hell why dont I just let everyone know how much they disgust me as well. But whatever...At least I dont snap and run. Ive stopped doing that. Now Im just the one who sits in the other room in tears without anyone trying to fix anything because hell if I dont do it why should anyone else. You know the whole tit for tat concept. Im out this is just soo so I dont know but I feel like hitting something.