|Current mood:|| contemplative|
|Current music:||Howie Day- Collide|
you borrowed my heart, give it back.
blaaah... it feels like sunday... but it isn't. it's definitely saturday night and im just chillin at home. it was the longest day ever. i woke up and had to get ready for my moms company picnic... it was pretty fun but it lasted forever... i made a new friend from grovecity though. she's so fucking pretty i could scream. so i came home.. went over and saw phil, rich, and company. it was pretty fun... i miss those two tards. i can't believe school is a week away. i do/don't want to go back. i have tons of mixed feelings. i hate all of the work... and then im a senior. blah... college? ha. everyone seems so anxious to go away.. just go away! well why? it's not like you'll never come back here agaid you stupid shits. i mean sure college is probably more than i can imagine, but i don't know.... why in such a hurry to forget everything? even the best people don't forget the people that were there for them... blah.. i guess no one cares. part of me does. im wishing i could have one more night back with everyone i care about that's leaving... i need a second chance for some things and an ending to others. nobody knows the half of what's went on this summer.. emotionally and physically. you might think your so special, but this isn't about you. i can't believe i've pushed so many people away this summer.... well maybe 3 people but that's three people that could have made an impact on my life. i think i need to stop thinking i meet every person for a reason. im sure it's true to some extent but some of these people have brought me nothing but sleepless nights and heartache. i always give and give of myself.. what a whiner i am. haha. im never gonna get to say goodbye because im too scared. I feel as if i should get over this a-s-a-p.