It's hard to believe I created this journal 3 years ago. I was bored sitting at my desk killing time in PA and I found this site, wrote an entry, and started to journal. Of course, I deleted all those entries from back then. It's now 3 years later and I started again. Life is so cyclic. Everything comes back at one point or another. (Reader, if you haven't noticed, it's a Saturday night and I'm sitting in front of a 'puter, and drinking a smooth refreshing glass of whisky).
I got to thinking a bit about climbing, I mean mountains. My good friend and I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa a couple of years ago. It wasn't really that hard, sad to say. It made me think I could climb other, larger mountains. I started reading "Seven Summits." Those guys were like 50 and climbed all of them. I truly believe I could do it too. I just need the money and the time. I've got the genes. I've got good swiss blood in these here veins. Switzerland is beautiful by the way. I think we'll try to bag Mt. Elbrus in Russia next, mother Russia that is. Denali is pretty tough, so maybe I'll leave that for later when I've got a little more experience, and money. I basically live from paycheck to paycheck. It sucks. So, Elbrus it is.
I spoke with her yesterday. My phone rings and she is the last person I expect to be calling me, no matter what time of day. I had sent her a text asking if she and her roommate would be interested in going to a ball game with Mike and myself. She had plans that night, and she wasn't into it anyway. Apparently, the comment I made about wishing I were still her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago was reason to block out thoughts of interacting with me (at least for a period of time). So we talked briefly about it and then she had to go (didn't want to talk anymore). I dropped her a line later explaining that I didn't want to be her boyfriend, but rather, 'just don't like the animosity that's in the air.' I hope she can understand that. I mean, I lost a friend when we broke up. Maybe she could never think of me as a 'friend', not sure. I'm really not the type to be a male friend to a former girlfriend. Strange, but true. And I don't force a relationship that isn't completely mutual. If she finds that I have certain qualities and wants to see me and talk to me once in a while, great, if not...(shrug).
I'm not fluffing my ego here at all, as a disclaimer. All of my girlfriends have been very attractive. It's not that I find them attractive and I'm the only judge. My friends have told me this. I don't understand at all. I look at myself in the mirror and see a normal, average-looking twentysomething male. Apparently I'm cute. I've been told I have dimples. I've never noticed. I've got something, that's all I know. Here's a little fact: I've never hit on a woman at a bar, not even a little. Then again, I've never really met anyone I've gone out with in a bar. And no, I never get approached by women in such settings. M told me I was 'unapproachably good looking.' Like I'd laugh in someone's face if they came up to me and tried to ask me out. That's hilarious!
That's it for now. (sigh).
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