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the number e (methinks) wrote,
@ 2006-04-24 08:20:00
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    I still can't.
    She calls me once in a while. I can't for the life of me figure out why she does it. And I actually called her for the first time in weeks on Saturday. She answered, which meant the world to me at the time. Part of me really wants to hear her say she'll never, ever, want to be in a relationship with me. But even if she told me that was the case I'd still hold on to the idea in the back of my mind. I'd think, 'There may be a few circumstances wherein she'd need me and I'd be there for her, and she'd appreciate me for it.' There's also a chance, albeit a small one, that she actually misses being with me, but knows that it's not a good idea to act on this, for her own sake. I haven't felt complete for many weeks. Maybe I'm deluded in my thinking. She's on her way to work as I write this. Do I call her just to say 'hi.'? Is that crossing the line I drew for myself? I already crossed it a couple of times and the results weren't at all negative, no recourse from her. I'm going to call, results to come!

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