Out of the blue she calls me.
So I'm making a little breakfast in the late morning hours of a dreary Sunday when my phone rings in my pocket. I think, 'It's Spiegler, he want's to play some Tecmo, I'll call him back.' But I've never give up the hope that she'll call me out of the blue, so I take it out of my pocket and sure enough I see 'Do Not Call' listed as the caller (That ID has been my last line of defense for a couple of weeks). She's calling me. My heart strarts to race and I feel a little queasy, but I manage to answer and sound as breezy as possible. She sounds just like she always sounds, cute. She's on her way to see a nice wholesome teeny bopper movie at the local theater. We talk about this and that, the upcoming change in weather patterns, mutual friends who annoy both of us for the same reasons, and her dysfunctional family. She can't find the theater so I direct her where to turn and what to look for. 'At the very least she might call me again for directions somewhere in the metro,' I think. Surprisingly, she doesn't 'let me go' before she really has to. I kept waiting for her to say, 'I have to go, ok, bye.' But she didn't. She let me go when she actually had to. This means everything to me at the time. I sit for a long time just thinking and staring off into nothingness. What does this mean? I don't want to be her friend. That would be too painful. I know I will never be able to cope with that. She knows this, I told her long ago. I need her in my life, so I might have to take what she gives me.