|Current mood:|| awake|
|Current music:||Chili Peppers|
New Journal...been crazy
I guess it's time for change but I'll pick up right where I left off with the other one...right b4 I came back from my spring break...
Julie ended up passing away early Monday morning when i got back to buffalo. saturday night my mom and i went over to their house and said our goodbyes. for those of u who dont know, ive known her for almost 16 years and she was like a second mom to me. the girls and i grew up together and both of our families were pretty close. i had never seen anyone in person actually dying from cancer and it wasnt the beautiful women that i had known for so many years in the past. she was withering away but she was so peaceful. hospice had come in to support the family and make things as comfortable as possible for her. it was so nice to sit there and talk with her and dana for a while and catch up on some lost time and say my goodbyes and an i love u before she was moving on to a better place. so i had to come back to school that sunday night (which was easter) and kind of get ready for the week to start. the friday of that week was the memorial service for her. the church was completely full and it was so hard to say goodbye to her but the service completely summed up who she was. it's just weird knowing that she wont be coming over to our house to drop off some new recipe or just stopping by to see the dog and say hi to everyone. i cant imagine what my mom has been going through since she was her best friend. i'm not so sure that i want to know what she is going through.
so now the rest of the week...basically to sum it up, the person i asked to go to the semiformal with me said that he had to work and it turns out that he didnt (yea i caught him he just doesnt know it yet), someone said that i was the girl for them, then the weekend was completely crazy...oh yea and there was more stuff with a certain someone again. y everything has to happen in the same week i dont know. all i wanted to do was go home and be with my family and get away from everything here but NOOOOOoooooo i had to stay here and deal with all the drama and bullshit that always goes on around here. i was completely miserable the whole week and especially friday when i had to go to the memorial service. i never want to relive a week like that ever again...unless the whole week was the weekend. so that friday there was a group of us that all went downtown and we ended up at big shots for the night. it was crazy because some how this guy steve had free beer the whole night which was sweetness...and then there was a group of guys there that go to DYC. i ended up hanging out with one of them that has been part of my whole "dyouville experience" (as my twin would put it) for the past 3 years here...it was definitely a good time and it had been a while since we had really talked too. he's another one that thinks im a certain way and im really not that person at all. that is part of me but im not that. everyone can believe what they want to but if u take the time to actually get to know me and get me away from DYC then u will see im just a laid back, fun loving girl...there isnt that much to me...well maybe there is...haha. so then that saturday britty and i headed back downtown to meet up with her friend jodi bc it was his 21st birthday. soooo many good times that night again im not even going to get into it all. lets just say that "billy is fucillo HUGE! (and no not in that way perverts! well i cant back that up...haha)" there is a lamp post now with jodi and brit's name on it, never leave your keys in someone elses car...haha, friends who are on a mission always make sure that the other friends get home safely by giving them cab money, and if u are going to be walking all over downtown make sure u park closer to the bars and clubs...haha.
ok this week was a little calmer i guess. the only down things were that i found out something thursday that definitely brought me down a little, and friday i found out that a certain someone didnt have to work. but the new programming co-chair thing is going well. i just wish that it didnt have to start last week when everything was all over the place and things werent good at all. but i think now im getting into it and figuring out my role. its a good thing stacey is there to tell me what work i have due and where i am supposed to be every day. i just hope that the rest of the semester goes well. i cant go thru another bad week so close to the end of the semester...im already slacking on my work because i cant stand to do it alllll the time anymore. i would so be lost without all of my friends here. i would have already jumped off the bridge a really long time ago. i just need to get some sleep thats all....omg i almost forgot to talk about something...
semi-formal...even though i didnt really have a date i ended up having a really good time. kev and i bought tickets together but it was just a friends thing. and dustin came down for stacey too so that was fun. i had a couple of drinks and took a ton of pictures and danced most of the night and just had a good time. i think people were surprised that i could actually look decent for a change and that i have other clothes besides jeans and t-shirts or sweatshirts. then saturday night we met up with lindsey and christine for a couple of drinks at TGI fridays and then kev and i headed over to darcy mcgees and had a few more beers before calling it a night and going to bed at like 1130!! on a saturday!!! such a shocking weekend.
ok one last thing...something was said to me by someone who is really smart and understands the fucked up dynamics of dyouville...people talk a lot of shit here and u cant do one thing without someone thinking that u slept with that person (if they are opposite sex) or without people just jumping to conclusions. people just need to take things for what they are around here and not manifest these situations that dont exist, in their heads. chances are, what is right in front of u is what is really happening. it's so true that the ones u have to look out for around here are the girls. girls are nasty and we play some nasty games. its hard to believe that any of us actually have really close girl-friends. i guess that we just find some that just fit with us or that believe the same shit that we do when it comes down to personal life and other aspects. no one should really have to walk around here hiding things that they dont want other people to know about. it would just be to much more bullshit to deal with than there is right now. my close friends know what im up to but the rest i dont think have a right to know.
well i guess thats about all for now...next time i will put a link in here for my other journal that i used to write in...hope all is well with u all...peace out :-]