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Mel (mel2146) wrote,
@ 2004-05-06 23:15:00
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    Current mood: indescribable
    Current music:Channel 4 music

    the storm
    sitting and watching the storm outside of my window was so symbolic of what has not only happened this week but also this entire semester. it started off sunny for the most part with the clouds moved in over our heads, first they were grey with some sun still shining thru...then the lightening has started off in the distance and in the beginning it lights the entire sky, some place more brightly than others. then the thunder starts off in the distance. as the direct bolts of lightening start the hit the thunder is starting to become more intense and the timing between the 2 is decreasing. soon it is right over u...flash...boom. there it is, as soon as one hits there is the other, no distance between. its right over u at this point. then the space comes again, then the general light across the sky...silence hits. then it begins again. its a cycle on this one stops another starts. so much like something stops something else starts. i wish i could pause life like i can my CD. step back for a while...put things were i want them, change what i want to, get rid of what i dont want.
    watching out the window, wishing i had gone with still hurts. things arent right. everything is scattered again. thoughts are here and there. y does it have to be like this? y r there still feelings where there shouldnt be after everything. they arent typical feelings...just something that will always be there. its to complicated.
    pissed at the stupidity of some. i hope that u r as happy as you're pretending...u disgust me. i hate what u have done and how u try to cover your ass. talk all u want...i know who my true friends are. i hope u find what u r looking for.
    watching friends tonight made me think of everything. how it ended with ross and rachel. all of the guys that those girls had gone thru and they ended up with those they have been with for years. thru it all they were still together.
    im gonna go watch the late show and go to bed i guess...peace

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