| Current mood: |  drained |
| Current music: | Yea!! (Lil John, Usher...) |
loooooong day ahead
thought i would do this real quick before jumping in the shower and heading off to another stupid site visit. i hate jan tona personally!! we r way to busy to be running around WNY going to site visits where we have already seen the boring ass shit they are going to show us. well last night i got a new dress for the OT pin dinner tonight so mariana isnt the only one wearing a dress (it looks HOTT too!) then afterwords there is a huge group of us heading downtown tonight to party it up. im bringing LP and buffalo together tonight since it is going to be sooo nice outside! the only thing i am worried about is the rain. soo yesterday things kinda calmed down around here which is good. people just need to grow up and stop acting like a little KID. thank god my friends are amazing here. and some of them can stand me yelling (not at them!) about stupid shit, and can actually sit through a conversation about sex with me...and it was an intelligent conversation too! it helps out alot especially to get a guys perspective on guy "problems". i guess im kinda in a lull with the whole guy thing. not that i mind tho. i know that i dont really want a relationship right now bc i feel like i am all over the place and right now i need to focus on getting myself back on track in my life. i cant believe that its going to be a year in about a week now. actually a week from yesterday (thursday) was the day it all happened but this year the date falls on the saturday. i cant believe that after all this time it still effects me the way that it does and the fact that it seems like he could care less bothers me even more. u r the reason i am the way that i am today. im not so sure that i really like the way that i am...there are some parts that i like but others (like my commitment phob, nastiness, judgmental, the list can go on) i can live without. ive gotten really cynical recently but if people werent such a pain in the ass and would leave me alone then it prolly wouldnt be a problem. trying to remove yourself from the bullshit here is almost impossible. all i can say is that i cant wait for the day to come when they all get their payback (Karma anyone?). it'll all come back at them...it always does. the hardest thing for me right now is sitting back and allowing this to happen. in a way right now being an RA and having such a high leadership position on campus really sucks bc no matter what i do it can jeopardize my career here and my life in general. there are drastic measures that i could take here to make sure that this will never happen again and that people will be dealt with but i would hate to see it get that far. ohhhhh 2 more weeks and all the little kids will be gone! then i can chill with the staff for the last week and pack up and get outta here myself. well i gotta get ready for the day...peace out ya'll!
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