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MediaGadfly (mediagadfly) wrote,
@ 2005-04-30 16:11:00
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    Current mood: morose

    I hate the entire world- you too(except for Sweetie)
    I am having a wretchedly miserable weekend. Yesterday afternoon my mom was a huge bitch to me for various unwarranted reasons. Then last night George and I went to the Willy P student film association's film festival. I was hoping for run into a professor or two that I am fond of and when I saw that a former classmate of mine was serving as a judge I was excited to see her. Well in walks one professor and not only does he not remember me but he tries to scare us out of our seats. We hold our ground and then I get all excited when one of my favorite professor's walks in and sits right next to sweetie. I had professor Williams for 2 classes, my last class with him was only a little over a year ago and he wrote me a recommendation for grad school, gave me advice, etc. I really really liked him as a professor and he had a great personality. I thought he would be the kind of person I could keep in touch with and have serve as a mentor. Well forget that. He didn't remember me at all and I am seriously broken hearted. I desperately need a mentor and for some reasons none of my professors even remember me, let alone give two shits about me. Finding a mentor is sort of like finding a boyfriend, you can like them all you want but if they aren't into you there is nothing you can do to make it happen. Anyway, at the screening they kept on having equipment problems and I was hungary and feeling bummed so I decided to high tail it out of there. The chick didn't seem to really care that I left when I said goodbye, a little salt for the wound.

    When I cam home my brother confronted me about telling my folks something he didn't want them knowing. Then today he picked a fight about that again by blasting his music so loud that I couldn't hear my own tv and when my mom refused to step in- I freaked out on Alex. She then freaked out on me. This whole thing was her fault anyway. Excuse me for giving her a heads up about something her son is doing. Well now I know I can't trust them. I mean I did betray my brother's trust but it wasn't like he was going to get into trouble for wanting to go to bartending school so that is the only reasons why I said anything. My mom basically threatened to kick me out of the house and since I was already feeling like shit this just drove me over the edge. Here I am 27 years-old, some girls my age are married, some even with kids and here I am living with my mommy and daddy and getting scolded for fighting.

    I am just so fucking tired of this and miserable that at my age, with my education, I am actually hoping I get a job at SEARS. Can we really get more depressing than that?

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