Ok, let's face it, he's in love
Well, in 15 minutes I'll be doing the Physics Exam. And certainly I don't know a thing!! What has happened? On Monday I knew my guy was coming back at night... I couldn't wait so I did something I shouldn't have... I got into his e-mail (I swear I just wanted to know if he had read an e-mail I sent him back on Saturday that he hadn't answered!!!) Whatever, I did found that he read my mail... but I also found that his beloved Sarah had written too; "Thank you for letting me meet you" or something like that. I couldn't help but read it... and shit... I found out that he had asked her to marry him................. ........... I felt like shit. She also said something about how good she felt, bullshit bullshit, and something about his gold cross..... he had given her his beloved-most-precious gold cross... gee... So, I finally realized that he truly loves her.... he's so in love with that woman... and I envy them both. I felt like the most stupid human being on earth... again I cried my ass off. So I had a very renewed strength to say: fuck off that bullshit. The End. Fin. It's over. I'm not playing this game anymore. So, that's life's irony. After a whole week of weird feelings about all this, after having sucha complex group of sickening feelings all at the same time, and when I finally felt so sure what to do with my life (read last entry!!) I concluded that our little sweet-sick-sexy game is finally over. I still feel dizzy about it, but I think I'm going to be all right.
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