|Current mood:|| gloomy|
I have myself to blame
I was just sitting in Chorus today and I just started crying. I don't even know why. I was trying so hard to figure it out through the rest of 3rd and 4th and swim practice and now I finally figured it out. Mood swings, intense feelings of loneliness....What else could it be? I still miss Jody. And truthfully, I think I will always miss him. I have not gotten over his death and I just can't push myself forward. It is like I am walking down a hallway, and everyone is moving super fast, but I am in slow motion, still wondering where my Jody has went. But the strange thing is....is that when I am with...you know...it feels like that weight has been lifted off of me. he makes me laugh and smile and makes me feel great. Like I could take on the whole world. But then, when the day is done and all things are said and he has gotten offline, I am alone again. I miss Jody. I lack a real relationship. I want to tell people how I feel. And starting tomorrow, I am going to do that.
But the one person I am worried about-----what will he think?