:(
every have the feeling that you dont belong where you are? or you dont diserve who you are with? for some reason i feel both. i want to be with my girl but i cant, i dont want her to have to wait till i get things better before she moves in with me. i want her to be happy and right now i think she isnt happy with me. im not meaning shes mad at me but i dont think she should have to go through all the lonelyness, of being seperated. but i have something other then that on my mind too. the beast is back and i have to work on it to get it running like it did when it was new maybe even better. but i have alot of work to do on it. and im gonna be investing alot of money into it. plus i also have fines to pay off to that are bs tickets. god im so tired right now. i want to fall asleep and never wake again. ive become so depressed in the last month that i barly know wut to do with myself any more. ive found myself coming back to this blurty account like starting back at the begining of it all for me. i was born here and i will end up dieing here, i cant excape this place. i have nothing but this cursed land, i feel like i am nothing for any one and every one is something that i can not have. no realy, no trueness to life. im starting to wouder about,love also. even though i dont want to give up on hope and love. but im starting to slip.
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