| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | rob zombie-Past, Persent, & Future |
old feelings rushin in again
death is aproching and it feels like he is trying to tear me apart once again. this pain i feel now is different then wut ive felt before. the pain i feel now is the pain of a true love being torn away again. and now that i am ingaged with the only girl i can see my self with, my dreams are ripping me apart showing me all my past errors and letting me know the pain i felt in the past. my demons once again i have to go through this pain. but i cant run from these demons any more. wut ever happens happens i geuss. an old love is trying to get me back, and she knows that i was never able to resist her in the past but now ive changed, so i can not, i will not. no one will probably ever see this but i dont care cuz if i die any time i know this is the first place people are gonna look to see how i have lived my life. well i geuss ive failed in my life. and i dont have much to live for. but yet i do. but wut i have to liv for i never get to talk to hardly any more. and my depression keeps getting worse and worse. my life doesnt suck cuz i have people to fall back on but im extremly tired of falling back on people to help me out. im about ready to just end it all and say screw my life wut am i supost to do with it. i feel like an empty shell any more so wut is the point? only if jayme only knew how much i loved her and i wished she knew how much i want to be with her,but it seems like she is slipping through my fingers. and i have no clue wut is happening once again in my life. but who ever reads this and trys to rat me out or tells me it not worth doing well you know wut im not gonna kill myself i dont have the power to do that any more.
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