| Current mood: |  distressed |
its that dream again
once again ive had the dream but ive finished, not the way i though it would be. instead of it being someone i love it was death. i could almost smell it feel it and tast it. like it was creeping up on my trying to take me over.
i fear for missys child life now. for the guy that missy is with wont claim that the child is his. and i beleive that missy is right. how could it even be mine? if you think about it all the drugs ive done im probably stairle ( ok i dont know how to spell that word ok.) i know that i am a threat to him cuz of the history that i have with missy but he dont really know the half of it. the stress the missy is going through is hard enough on her, i dont want some guy to bring her down its bad enough that she went through so much shit with me and im sorry for all of that, but im here now and im gonna be the best friend i can be. trust is needed between alot of people and im tryingt to build it back up.
ive discovered wut i truly am, i am uwut would be the lowest rank of vampire, a incubis. some one that feeds off some one during an act that is ment to be sacred, during making love. taking there seed as my own. ive lost most of my emotions now and cant feel passion or love to the extent i used to.
this time i take a leave for a while and take a step back and look at my self and the people around me and discover wut truly makes me happy.hopefully i discover it soon cuz i canty take being sad all the time.
to all blessed be and good might
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