| Current mood: |  guilty |
blech
Well. I've been feeling blech lately. And you know why? because I'm not taking myself seriously about this whole "eating better" thing that I need to do to lose more weight. While I eat shit, I tell myself that I shouldn't eat it, yet I do. and then I feel guilty. Its been really bad for the past week or so. Geesh. I better strap down. I really need to. Ugh.
But can you imagine...me being skinnier? oh my god, it'd be so amazing. I'd actually be like...a person. A real person. Right now, I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, just not enough...but if i stick to something...If I continue to work out almost every day like I have done for the past few months...Things might change. I may never like working out, but I may like the results of working out. If there's one thing I always need, its control over myself. Right now, I feel like I have no control. But if I really really stop eating junk and stop eating a lot of the other stuff...and just really cut back all together...I might regain control of not only my body, but my mind, and my life.
So...I'm going to do some crunches or situps or something because I feel disgusting right now. There is only two ways to get the body I want: Diet and exercise. I'm doing the exercising. Now I need to do some major dieting.
Wish me luck.
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