| Current mood: |  blah |
| Current music: | Janis Joplin |
Ok, yesterday was my birthday and it went by alright enough I guess. It wasn't an awful day, but it wasn't all that great either. I guess the best part is hearing from all my friends, people who I haven't talked to in a while- I was suprised to hear from a lot of them. I had Sunday dinner with my grandparents and then visited with my other grandmother.
I feel like I'm doing a lot better with the whole Austin thing, but it still hurts. The only thing I could thing about yesterday was that I am supposed to be spending time with him. It is supposed to be our day together to go to the zoo and Pancho's (my favorite mexican restaurant). I just feel empty. I want so badly to call him. I want to proffess my love for him- I need him so badly. He makes me a better person, he makes me care, he gives me humanity. When I am with him I want to be a better person, I want to be successful, I want to be the best me possible. But without him I feel like I have no direction, I don't know where I am going or what I am supposed to be doing. I feel lost and alone and completely confused.
I hate the fact that he is the only thing I ever write about. Nothing seems interesting without him. My daily routeen- getting up, going to aerobics, going to work, and going out after for drinks with my coworkers all seems so mundane. The only thing I can concentrate on is him. Sorry my journals are so dogmatic- it just really helps me to whine. I helps to get it out, you know? Well, I'll write again later-Amanda
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