|Current mood:|| grateful|
Finances, Babies, and a Itty Bitty House....
I think this being my first entry and all, I should talk about my life. I'm a 21 year old mother of 1....and I have one on the way. Hannah, my 8 month old (today actually) is my world....she has the most amazing personality...as most mom's would say about their children. Its incredible the way God puts someone in your life that completely changes your outlook on everything. You realize that your life is not your own anymore and most of the time, you're okay with it. Sometimes, I think about how my life used to be....you know, no responsibilty (well, for the most part)...sleeping whenever you want, doing pretty much whatever you want to because you have absolutely no restrictions. And then, for some odd reason, as wonderful as that sounds, you dont want your life to be that anymore. I enjoy having a child. She's my world. Well, her and my husband of course. Can't leave him out of this. I wouldnt trade the old me for any of it. 2 years ago, I was partying and didn't have a care in the world it felt like. And now, I have millions. I'm okay with that though.
We find out what the baby is tomorrow. I'm thinking were having another girl. Mommy's intuition, you know. If we do, I think were going to name her Emme Reese. Hannah was only 3 months old when I got pregnant again so of course you could imagine my shock. My children are going to be like 12 months apart!!! Thats CRAZY...but good. We're really excited about this one too, and yet, something inside of me is feeling overwhelmed...maybe its just the thought of starting all over again and also having a fiesty one year old to take care of too. I think its all of it....finances, babies....our little house that can barely fit the three of us let alone 4, our car that we just had to spend $200 fixing and its still running funny, and both of our jobs that started out being "temporary" have turned into 2 year long careers. I can't stand working there still but I can't quit....I dont honestly think theres anywhere else that I can make the money that I make there. Anyways, I don't know why I'm rambling on about all of this, I guess it just feels good to.
My husband John is amazing. We met 2 and a half years ago and we were just friends for like 8 months. I moved away and he was going to move with me because he had a really big crush on me he says (he just forgot to tell me while I lived there). Well, he ended up not moving because I started kinda seeing this guy that he hated....so he got mad and stayed put....well I ended it with that guy and started dating this loser named Justin. I stayed in touch with John..talking at least 2-3 times a week and I would always call him about my problems, and there were plenty to talk about when I was with Justin. He was a cheater and treated me like crap, so of course John had to hear about it often. Well, I finally got up the nerve to break up with him and I just HAD to call John to tell him all about it...and I'll never forget that night. John told me he was in love with me and had been for some time so I ended up moving back to be with him. We started dating in May and by the end of June, he proposed. It was so wonderful and I'm still just as happy now as I was back then.
My life has changed so much...but its definately changed for the better. I wouldnt go back to the old me for all the world, because it just feels so good being a wife and a mommy. I know I belong here with my family and that just feels so good....