summer Rayne (mahogany_rayne) wrote, @ 2003-01-15 11:47:00

starting over alone...yet still fiegning for him
I wonder if it’s possible for the love of your life pass you by and you not even know it. What if Martin Yorel Davis was it for me. What if he was that person that you’re supposed to have a while with and either give in to your selfishness for each other or realize it’s not going to work and just fall apart. I want that experience no mater what the out come. It’s sooo, hilarious to me that I have started completely over in a new environment and I still can’t get rid of my thoughts of him. I started school a week ago and It’s cool everyone is friendly but I can’t seem to focus in on anything enough to just analyze it. I don’t fit in anywhere, but I guess that’s always been the case. I’m taking physics finally. And newspaper, yearbook, and radio. I’m sure I will grow a lot in the next 16 weeks I have here as a junior. I can also be my own light here. People don’t know me so they have nothing but what I tell them. But I’m just trying to do well here and prove to myself that I can succeed. My grades last semester were as follows:
Pre-Calculus- B
American Lit-A
Marketing-A
Yearbook-A
Physical Science-A
American History- B
I was sooo proud, that is the first time since middle school that I had no C’s on my report card. I hope I can pull that off again. But anyway, I miss home. Not toop much but just enough to feel the sting. Nicole is no longer my best friend. I’ve spoken to her once since I’ve been here. I don’t plan on burning the bridge, just not building on it any more. It’s because she decided to go after Doc as soon as I left. It would be one thing if I didn’t feel the way I feel about him. She already dated Brian, flirted with Brandon, and tried to date Kellie’s Charles so I will not be inviting her to my wedding-and my child will probably not be named after her or have her as a godmother. I THINK NOT! She’s too competitive and mean. How could you go after your best friends first love???? That’s just wrong so that was the last straw for me. But overall, I’m doing ok, but I miss Martin, Kellie, Darrian, Nneka, Victor, Nadiyah, and Carletta.
S. Rayne

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