| Current mood: |  awake |
| Current music: | Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison |
Turning on new avenues...
It's scary. In a couple of days, I will be embarking on a new journey in life- a journey towards where I want to be, and to meet people, and to let people learn more about who I am.
I thank Kristen for giving me so much support and insight into my own life. It's different hearing from other people their perspectives on your life, especially when you're so scared and don't have any motivations to just turn and move forth. This summer has been such a growing summer for me, and I don't feel like I'm the same person that first stepped on the street destined for the unknown. I feel so much stronger, inside and out- I feel so self-assured, yet so scared because I'm so sure of what I want and I'm not afraid to get what I want.
So many experiences have happened this summer to make me realize what kind of person I am, what kind of person I was, and the person I'm becoming. I feel like there's so much more I have to learn about myself, but at the same time- I'm okay with not knowing myself completely. As everyone around me changes, I realize that I am changing too, just as rapidly.
I received one of the most meaningful compliments of my life the other evening. I was at Chammps for kareoke night- it was my friend Kristen A.'s birthday, and after work I met her, Sharon, Christie, Sarah, Kristen M., and Teri there. Sarah and I were singing and dancing to one of the guys that went up to kareoke, and she looked at me and told me that she loved me- and that she saw a part of her in me. I look at Sarah for being such a strong person- she's overcome sooo much in her life, and she's not that old. And to hear that made me feel so great about myself- it made me realize that I have great great friends who respect me for who I truly am. Over the summer, Sarah's taught me soo much, I don't even think she realizes it. I feel more confident when I'm out, I feel more assured that, hey, people are going to like me for me, and not to try and be someone else.
I'm scared to move back down on campus where I'm going to be living in a house of girls that I love, and that I respect for their differences- but in past experiences, everyone at some point is so critical of one another. I know it's hard not to come by, but at the same time I feel like I would be more content with a place of my own, or moving in with Sarah or something. We'll see how it goes- I just feel like my place isn't there, completely- my heart isn't in it completely.
Only a couple more days until yearbook starts- my heart is definitely in that- I can't wait. I have an interview next week (wahoo!), kareoke night is Wednesday at Cactus Cafe with Tracie, and I might be travelling to OU at some point to visit a friend. :-)
I'm turning down new avenues in my life- where they lead, I don't know. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with not knowing some things- I'm just glad that I have so many loving friends to help me make those turns.
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