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Charmaine (lucid_lucy) wrote,
@ 2003-04-12 15:43:00
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    Current mood: artistic

    Lucid Lucy In My Head...
    I already use one of these online journal dealy's but this one is free as I am an 'early adopter'.

    One of my online friends directed me towards this site. I use my other one for more personal entries things I wouldn't so much want people to know about me. Perhaps I will use this one to talk about my 'project'.

    This is a different side of personal if you know what I mean.

    It's as much of a mystery to me as it is you at this point however. I guess it's a project of discovery. I've always wanted to create but have always been caught up in the endless distractions of every day life. Everyone needs an outlet. What I have been given is more of a gift to create writing than anything else. I cannot show anyone what I have written yet. It's not finished. You know in Englash class the Poerty unit you don't want to hand a poem in because it's not finished yet - you STILL haven't found that perfect saying to finish the poem? That's how I feel about all of my work thus far in a sense. What's missing from my work is the music... the music for it to completely say what it's supposed to say... create more than words without words...

    I don't know if that only makes sense to me or if that matters...

    Stars are the pure in the sky the holes in the dark where are dreams hide...

    I have 'tried' to start bands before and have been asked to be in others. As for the bands I tried to start I am the only one who had ANY initative... my friends say to me 'Ohay Charmaine you get us famous.' and other such similar comments... I'm the only one who wants to make music for the sake of art... for the sake of the music and the emotion... in the bands I was in I was a bass player... which is something I gave up when I was younger... I look back now and wish I atleast tried but I wasn't interested in it... especially not having faith in the people I was going to be playing with... I either thought they were too daft or just wanted to be a cover band which is something I never am too interested in...

    When I was younger I played bass... It's something I might dedicate some more time to for another band once I get my own creations going... fun to goof around (or take seriously) in another band... right now however I want to (I believe) go solo... if you want something done right you have to do it yourself...

    also without the help of my brother Edwin... who has taught me a lot about technique I just want to do something completely and utterly on my own... it's almost a sense of independence... yes it definatly is. I have always been told to play certain ways etc. But the old ways are battered worn out and re-used to the point of exhaustion... I almost wish I didn't know how to play guitar and I just picked it up and somehow made some random noises from it and it coudl be deemed music. That would be different.

    What's different anymore tho...

    There arecertain things I cannot stand - the same bland to decent guitar riffs with lame to medeokre lyrics verse chours verse (no nirvana pun intended) and all the suburban kids who feel enlightened. Sure I wish I could feel that deep to that garbage too.

    To get inspired from what you may not and force you to see what I see thru your eyes which may not be what I see at all...

    I want to be a part of many projects... I want them all to be different I don't know if I want to lead them all or if that is the only way I will be able to do it for now... I do know I want to have: Lucid Lucy. A name that I don't even remember how it came to me. I think I was sitting here and it's just words that came to my head. Lucid for my intense dreams of being God and making it rain marbles to a name that rhymes. Who knows.

    This is a long first entry but soon enough you'll all be reading it.


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