lovely_girl (lovely_girl) wrote, @ 2004-04-09 17:57:00

Leech
WHY DO I DO THINGS LIKE THIS?!

I talked to Slowey Wednesday and poured my heart out. Everything written below got covered. He told me he wnats to say yes but he doesn't know if he can trust that things will be better as I'd promised. And I want nothing more right now than to spend time with him.

I called him today and he was sleeping and I asked if he wanted to do something tonight and he said he wasn't sure. So I asked if he wanted me to call back and ask later. He said sure. So, I do that only to find out he's made plans already...It bothers me. I mean, I know he and I didn't have plans, but I guess it just feels like he doesn't want to be around me.

I feel like he's done thinking and that he no longer wants to say yes. And I feel like I can't go away long enough for him to think anyhow. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! It makes my heart so heavy. I feel like I'm turning psycho. I just want to see him for a few minutes and say hello.

I mean, what I really wanted to do was go to his house and bring him dinner and give him a massage and just be with him. And be nice. I've never wanted to be so nice before in my life. I've never wanted so much from someone before. And I feel like I'm starting to feel all of these things too late.

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