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this thursday was supposed to be our one week now i know one week may not seem like much but for us it would have been everything. on the 18th we will have been friends for 8 months 8 really interesting months but we should have known it would have been odd i mean it was us and then there was the way we met... March 18 i had a feild trip to philli i really didnt want to go i mean i pitched a fit to try and get out of it but i ended up having to suit up in my Class A's (im an avid ROTC cadet) and hop on the bus to drexel. i go to this ROTC swarea so boring ppl talk hooa im a jrotc cadet i will always conduct myself yada yada crap like that; well the food was not enough so my and krissee went to the cafe this crazy hot dominican walks by gorgeous but he is talkin to himself i mean really wylin out and we start laughin like o what a shame and then this really hot dark skinned black guy walks by....u see this is my weak spot.....and hes talkin to himself (later he would swear up and down he was callin cadence(left left left right left) which is believable cause rotc kids do that shyt) so neways he walks by once then he comes back again this time hes facin me our eyes meet and there was just something i smiled he tipped his hat omg he tipped his hat ona those fitted jons i think 76ers and kept walkin then he goes to the dominican i cant stop lookin at him krissee and i start jokin about if two crazy cute boys are talkin to themselves and each other who are they payin more attention too and we bust up....it was funny at the time....then he sees me laughin and i smile big at him and he comes over to the window puts a text in his phone and holds it to the window hi how are u wut school stuff like that i use krissees phone and talk back to him and then instead of him comin in he calls her cell omg we are so weird and i talk to him His voice omg the first time i heard it i melted; he came in we talked we exchanged names and numbers woodley...woodley paul. i nvr thought it would change my life. at first he was just this cute guy that i knew i didnt think he would actually call i called him i started this. that sat i had a drill comp everything ended or so i thought between me and toni a fwb that im completely physically infatuated with but at the time i was still a virgin i was so upset about us ending that when another random fwb that i had known for 6 months and messed with for two asked if he could come over i said sure i thought we would just make out we ended up sleeping together i dont regret the act not even really that it was him i just wish it had happened differently in a way iuno its odd like most things....after it happened i just didnt want to talk to him nemore it wasnt bad but it wasnt good enough lol; so i just really kinda threw myself into this friendship with woodley we started catchin feelings for each other we had both come outa relationships and we just connected in this way i nvr have with anyone...well time goes by we see each other very rarely in fact only 2 in 3 months but we talk so much it doenst matter well it did kind of matter cause this girl amy he likes her a little too he likes both of us but im further away hes known me less time and im also goin to alaska for two months he picks her; i leave i decide not to come back i cant bear it i need to get my head straight im soooo hurt but i didnt drop him or blow him off i couldnt we keep talkin i fuck up in alaska and have to come back home hes so happy im home; amy and him brake up a couple of weeks later we talk more and more about how we feel about each other finally two weeks ago we're like we can make us work cause weve got alot of odds to go against my dad hates him i mean really hates him cause hes black only reason why i cant stand it i cant call him and im not supposed to see him ever well he can call me and that was enough for us and i find out ima see him on thursday and we are soo happy finally we get to see each other and were talkin about all the feelings and like if we could make it we wanna get married and we kno we can make it and then i tell my mom being honest with her ima see woodley shes like okay then the next day she tells me kno i swear i almost died i collapsed in the bio room after school i was yelling and crying soo hard i think thats when i knew it was the end i felt so dead inside so alone so dissapointed and i also knew i was gonna have to tell him i raged at my mom for being so harsh my dad for being so damn stupid i just was angry then he calls my mom says im not allowed to see him he gets on the phone with me silence were both so sad and we wnd up saying that in a way we may love each other and that makes it hurt even more and im crying and i swear at one point it sounded like he cried if not he was just really sad he told me he had wanted to ask me out the next thursday the fourth which would have been a week ago this thursday i was lost numb for a long time friday we fell alseep on the phone it was great just something we do and then we talk again sat nyte he told me he was at a party and he told his ex about us and all the stuph we were goin through they go to the bus stop so he can go home she kissed him and he got all these feelings i swear that one sentence killed it all i just though omg wut if the feelins hes had for me were misplaced ones for her and ive put everyone through so much for this omg stupid stupid and i jus stopped liking him like that i didnt think it would be so simple and i just told him i cant believe this and im not an option for you anymore he did come to church the next day but you could just feel it everything had changed everything it made me kinda sad in the way that i missed what was there i didnt want it i just didnt kno wut to do and he still sounds sad and that makes me sad but i cant go through it anymore and i dont think ill ever fel the same way i did about him now the other guy toni form long long ago started talkin to me again we kissed when i came home and then last wed he came over in his car and we sat outside my house until 1 and just went at it and i dont feel anything for him in the ways of love i mean i like him in a way but really its just the physical he can pratically make me cum just kissin me its so damn good and there are some guys that like me but ryte now all i want is to fool around with toni and i just really think its amazing how something so strong as me and woodley can be ruined in an instant but something so dysfunctional as the shyt me and toni go through has lasted almost two years now and iuno if this is relavant but i had to tell someone so i thought id tell you say what you will Post a comment in response: |
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