|Current mood:|| sad|
there have been many people that have come and gone through my life. there will always be ex boyfriends, and old friends that you lose touch with (on purpose or otherwise), but you get over it. you move on, new people fill you life, and you don't look back.
sometimes there is someone that touches you so much, and you lose them. you can't let it go and you can't move on. maybe they hurt you and now you can't trust (like in my case). maybe you want to talk to this person, either to get them back into you life, or to have some closure so that you may let things go.
that is what i need to do. i need to talk to my old best friend so that maybe i can have her back in my life, or at least to find out a little bit of what happened. maybe then i can have some girl friends. ever since this girl and i stopped talking, i haven't had a "best-friend". i haven't even tried to have one. i did have a friend that i thought was the same thing, but i was on lots of drugs and i think that when we finally sobered up we had nothing in common, so i gave up on her. she wanted to stay with her drugs, i wanted a real friends, we grew apart.
i have been wondering if my feelings of betrayal from my old best friend have made it impossible for me to trust a new girl friend. i just don't trust girls anymore, and i can't help but assume that it comes from the things that happened with her.
i hope i can talk to her soon and figure some things out. it won't happen fast, if at all. i won't bring it up right away. but if she is willing to talk to me more than once, then maybe we can both find out what happened, and if the choices we made were really for the best.