| Current music: | dead poetic - vanus empty |
breathing takes practice, practice we missed, so we dye. end transmission we're giving up...
i dont have much time to update which bothers me because i finally feel like i have somethings to say and i might finally know how to say them.
yet at the same time there are some things i dont even know how to begin to say.
the weather is so drab and peaceful. watching the puddles methodically get hit on their surface with little dimples covering the expanse of the puddle itself. i feel so sleepy yet know i will never be able to actually drift off.
people are mad at me left and right and i cant help it. and maybe since i cant help it, its my fault and im a horrible person who deserves noone or nothing im given. i dont like this akward feeling of not being able to talk to people or looking for a familiar face, but instead finding a dirty look.
i also feel this incredible frustration with lack of time in life. i dont think that i could live any differently and feel satisfied with how i choose to spend my time, or not have people be mad at me for how i spend my time, or have people hurt by how i spend my time. i guess im the complete opposite. if something wasnt there in the first place, the likelihood of it being there in any other way is slim. and i dont like to try and force things.
that made no sense, but i followed it completely in my head.
o no, the nazi is back....
gone~
my tears seep through the crack under my door where i am locked in, shut down. im so tired of picking myself up off the ground
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