| Current music: | Dashboard Confessional >> Saints and Sailors |
Dont say everythings workingm when everythings broken
I don't even know why I'm writing here. I hate writing in this god damned thing. I never put anything relevant in it, its all jsut mindless events that dont mean shit to anyone. Nothing I write is important anyway. They're my problems why should anyone else know about them. I hate this so much. Theres just to much. I feel like im going to shut down any second, all these emotions are tearing me apart. Why cant I fucking be regular. Why can't i jsut be like everyone else, and be content with who I am. I can't stand myself. I hate me, alnog with probably everyone else. I don't even have a reason to be like this. Im so depressed I don't even want to move. I just want to sit in this empty room alone forever. Never talk to anyone again, and taht'd be fine. I just don't care. Why am I like this. Why do I need some one to help me so much but at the same time all I want is to be alone and drown in my own thoughts until I breakdown. I guess this is the first entry I've ever done where I actually say whats on my mind. Why does love have to be so horrible. Its the slowest form of suicide, and has the potential to tear you to pieces. I hate everything, I hate my, I hate the fucking sky, I hate my home. The only thing that even gives me a remote sense of belonging and contentness is this room. When I'm here the whole world gets shut out. Its just me. Nothing else. I wish thats how it was all the time. I'd never have to worry about anything else ever again. All these frustrating feelings would disappear. I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm a bad person. I'm useless. I'm empty. Maybe someday I'll find out what all this pain is for. But right now I'm done bitching and whining about myself, now I'll just keep everything to myself until I can't talk it anymore and it makes me extinct inside.
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