|Current mood:|| crushed|
so what am I supposd to learn from this one this time around huh God? That she never loved me? That she is just confussed and making others around her confussed? Why God did you make me love and pine for someone only to have this happen again? Why does it seem to me that I was set-up and played a fool for twice now? We parted because nothing made sense to me last time. Nothing STILL makes sense to me where she is concerned. To be honest I think she went slightly mental and neutroic along the way or something. Maybe she is right maybe we have changed I dunno, cause she is sure not the Meredith that I remember... not anymore. She's some kind of monster now or something that draws the most wild conclusions to things that are not there or do not exist.Yes we all see things differently but not to the extremes she does. God make me out as a baby killer Meredith! I'm sorry I spend the money to repair the charm and earrings now. I was going to give them back to her when I visited.
I'm back at square one. I don't know what to believe. Hell I'll go so far as to say she could have lied from my re-mailing her again. Nothing makes sense anymore where she is concerned. I'm sorry Meredith I really am, but if that is how things are between us then as much as I STILL love you... I have to let you go. I think you now get off on making yourself and others around you crazy even if you will not admit it to yourself I think you enjoy setting yourself and others up for some kind of fall. Your neurotic ( I think it started after I left for Memphis) and now since I think about it you seem to hang out most with other neurotics (like gamestop Matt) as well. I'll conclude that the orginal "weird phone call" that drove us apart was in fact YOU and not a roommate like you claim.
I think I have been lied to the entire time. I think many a game has been played on me.
If you truely loved me Meredith then you won't do the things you did/do to me. That is not love.
My heart is so broken, but at least this time I have a reason as to a why and a how.