First time user
I hope that this journal will help me to understand myself...I'm at a point in my life where I feel very lost and confused. I think it's becuase I am at that point where I am considered an adult and feel there are so many life choices that I need to make and I don't know what I want. I know one thing for sure...I want to act. That is what makes me happy. I am a very private person. I feel like when things are hard I need to be the person who needs to be strong and dependable to help others through. But I am just breaking apart on the inside. Maybe it's just hormones. Maybe I'm just adjusting to growing up. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I have had some serious family issues lately, my cousin was murdered a year ago and we are now at the time of the trial. I was really strong for my family...I tried not to let my emotions show and now I think everything is catching up with me. My husband wants me to talk to him about these things, but I feel that when I do vent he doesn't really know how to react so it comes across as not caring. So I cry...by myself. I sound like .. like .. a very depressed person and if you only knew who I am in everyday life. I'm happy and in love with life. My favorite thing to do is everyday before I go into one of my rehearsals for a show, I drive around in this little suburban counrty town on the outskirts of DFW and listen to Dave Mathews or Country or my Blues Traveler (yes, I know it's old) cds really loud with the windows down. I probably look like a maniac singing and dancing along with my music. My husband wants to go to bed now (I'm writing in the bed on the laptop). So, I guess my first psych. session went well. I was able to vent. I hope that this will help me out or should I say level me out. I think that is why I love acting so much. I can be anyone freely...I don't have to hold back, and I can pull from myself...the anger at times, the love and passion that I have that I may not show, all of my emotions I can put into one person and just be free. I love that feeling! Good night to all. With love~Aphrodite
(Read comments)
|
