|Current mood:|| crappy|
look at me... look at me
I am really responsible for my actions or do they just happen? Sometimes I see things happen and hear things come out of my mouth that I swear are not truly my own thoughts. I need to step back o rather I want to I want to sometimes just observe life or is it that I often feel that all I do is observe life. It’s sometimes like I don’t even take part in the life that is going on around me. Maybe its just coz at present I’m not directly part of my environment I don’t know all the I jokes that occur they are not parent of me and my life.
I wonder if I girly giggle at guys when I am trying to flirt with them. Do I flirt with guys that I can’t have or do I just move on too easily? I wonder if I’m a nice person or am I a bitch and don’t know it. Am I the person that walks into the room and cause its contents to swear under its breath, as am that predictable and boring. I feel like I’m side lined by Claire and Nick and that they are nice to me coz it makes sense to be but they don’t really care about getting to know me and who can blame them I’m not one of the people that has gone through the process of uni with them. I’m not someone that they really need to get on with other then in a habitable sense.
I miss having my world around me yeah I’m not always the centre and I don’t have to ask to be the centre but its quite tiring watching Nick and Claire complete.