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Lisa Spa (lisapisces227) wrote,
@ 2005-11-02 20:41:00
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    Current mood:drained
    Current music:I Feel Home by O.A.R.

    Yeah that's right. I'm a copycat
    So, I looked at my little sister's little blurty thing and I was inspired to do my own. Possibly get some outlet to what's going on in my life when it happens. I don't have the time or the patience to handwrite a diary and I tell my friends everything anyway, so....two birds, one stone? I thought so.
    The past couple of days have been really draining emotionally. I've been missing my crew back home in jersey so much! It's very unexpected and completely out of nowhere and I wish it wasn't happening, but I've been looking through pictures and Kairos letters and just totally wishing I was a senior in high school again for just one day. At least back then I wasn't on the verge of a nervous breakdown from bills. But then again, I wouldn't have Donald, so I guess it's a fair trade.
    I got a horrible 4 hours of sleep last night and today I woke up totally just wanting to kill someone. Last night was just an unbelievably, historically horrible horrible night. Thankfully though, things were resolved today and I'm not looking for a new apartment to move into. Why are relationships so flippin hard? It doesn't make sense to me at all. If u love someone, it should be easy to keep urself and them happy right? But it's never like that. It's always a battle and it's always a growing up. But after the long battle, I look at him and know that I could never imagine my life without him. Then it makes it all worth it. My advice to my little sister with her man issues is that it honestly isn't greener on the other side. If you found a man who loves you, is honest, and puts u first and loves you enough to let u go, hold on to him. There is nothing out there that will be better. I promise you. I've been where you are now. I just hope you read this and my life experience can help you a little.
    I'm here counting down the days until Christmas when Donald's brother Beau and his g/f Lindsey (one of my closest g/f's away from TR) come to visit. But the biggest perk to this Christmas is my bro Jay coming to stay for two weeks. I miss my family so much today. I miss my Mom & Dad so much that it hurts and I miss my brother and my sisters to the point of tears practically. Mary said she might be moving out here and that's just amazing news and Jay is getting transferred an hour outside of the city here, so I could not ask for more. I hate so much that we're all so spread out. I never stop finding the humor in people's reactions when I share my family story with them. Even though I've dealt and moved on, I still get anger episodes from it all. Then I wake up and see the life I was given and I get myself grounded again. I just wish we all could've been together to grow up. I envy Becca and Mary, and Meghan and Lesley for at least having eachother when they grew up. ::sigh:: but now i'm just rambling and totally look like an angry person, so onto happier things!!~
    The charity benefit I sang at two weeks ago got me another gig on November 11th, so i'm totally stoked about that. I'm singing two songs at some fundraiser/benefit thing and getting paid like 100 dollars. I know it doesn't seem like much, but at this stage in the game, i'll take it!!! haha.
    Well, with ALL of that said,lol, i have to be going. G'nite!-----Lisa

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