|Current music:||Linkin Park - Faint|
First Day Back..
School started today... it wasn't so bad though.. Highschool isn't too bad.. it's going to take some getting used to.. but I'll manage. I really wish that I was going to the old High School... I really wanted to go to school with Dani and Jesse.. my school is full of a bunch of preps.. it's not so happy... but Crystal is in my lunch... and that's about it. I don't know if that's a good thing though... Sam told me that Jessica and Crystal called me a bitch and said some other shit.. it made me really sad.. I started balling my eyes out.. I haven't cried for a long time.. or at least like that.. and in front of people.. but, I really don't like it when people don't like me or say shit about me when I care alot about them.. I mean, I don't mean to be a bitch... I just get irritated easily.. and sometimes I just lose control of my feelings... also I have a bad temper like my dad.. so... yeah...
The thing about the whole situation that confused me was that Crystal and Jessica kept saying that Sam was just lying.. and Jesse said that Sam was probably just trying to start a fight between Jessica, Crystal and I... but Sam said she would never lie to me.
Whatever. I tell the truth to my friends.. I pretty much never lie... unless I feel that I have a very good reason.. I wish that people would tell me the truth too.. but I guess you can't really trust anyone... I wish I had someone to trust..? eh... I think I'll just keep trying to stop talking to people about my problems... and stop telling people my "secrets".. I've been doing a good job with that.. except for when I started balling.
I think the only way to keep from letting the sadness get to me is to just block out my feelings.. dont talk about them... and do as many drugs as I can.. just so I can't think about shit and confuse myself.. or make things worse than they seem... also I need to stop smoking weed because it makes me think.. and then I get super sad.. hah.. go figure?
¿A Little Bit of Ecstacy?