|Current mood:|| nostalgic|
|Current music:||Sara Evans - Backseat of a Greyhound Bus|
She wore a dress with cherries on it...going somewhere where she'd be wanted...
This lady came by the stand the other day, and her shirt read, "Girls who behave themselves rarely make history." - or something to that effect. I wish I had the guts to do all the things I want.
But, I don't have the guts to do much of anything. I don't defend myself; I just let people badger my name until not much to desire is left. I convince people that that's just my nature; that I'm just selflessly agreeable. But I think perhaps I'm just fooling myself when I say that that's how people see me. Instead of selflessly agreeable, I simply don't like confrontation, and I don't like unhappiness in my life. Instead of avoiding these things with other people in mind, I simply would prefer to ignore my problems, and let them disappear by themselves. Don't make me deal with my life...god, that sounds absolutely pathetic.
Sometimes I wonder what's happened to me. When I was little, damn...I was amazing. I had all the strength in the world, and the confidence. I was quite the little bitch, too, but that goes along with strength and unmatched confidence. I
thought I could defeat the world, nobody messed with me, nobody messed with my friends. I didn't put up with people giving me shit. I used to defend myself. Why don't I do that anymore?
I'm a wimp now...people say whatever they want, and they get away with it. I don't know if I just got tired of fighting or what...but I'm not the same person I used to be. Now....