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Manders (lilacpandas) wrote,
@ 2003-04-10 12:00:00
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    Current mood: hungry
    Current music:The Way You Look Tonight - Elton John

    well i was in a pretty good mood until i came home from school today @ 11. there were 4 messages on my answering machine. i'm like, ok, who the hell would call me b4 noon! everyone knows i'm either @ school or sleeping then. then i play's my half sister shannon. i haven't really spoken to her in years. her and my parnt never talk. my mom is her step mom and my dad is her real dad. they both pretty much don't want anything to do with her for the things she's done in the past. but i think it is primarily because shes lesbo...anyway, she left me 4 messages, saying how she doesn't know why i don't like her and stuff. she was definately drunk. she tends to do this every 6 months or so... I don't know just something about it today got to me. she sounds lonely...she talked about how she just wants a sister, and a family. before i knew i was in tears. i've always wanted a sister too. someone to confide in, another best friend. i've never really had that. shawn and me were pretty close when he lived here, but since he's been moved out i see him about once a month or so.
    shannon has never really done anything to me. it was always mom and dad who told me to stay away...but why?? i know she put them thru some shit when she lived here 10 or 11 years ago....but people have to forgive. i know you can never forget...but you have to move on. why hold grudges? life's too short for that shit. shawn and dad didnt talk for a they're okay. i dont understand why him and shannon can't do that either. i'm tired of always feeling in the middle. shannon is a great sister to shawn. she let him stay with her and tonya for like 5 months, when he moved back up here from NC. i don't think a horrible person would be that generous....i do want a sister, and i do want people to stop hating each other for reasons they have forgotten. it's sad..........i think i will call her later today, i don't know exactly what to say...i just know i'll call...

    other stuff...

    i've been sick for like a week...since last friday. i'm just now starting to feel better. i still can't really taste anything and i'm coughing a lot. it's weird to be drinking mountain dew, and you know it's mountain dew, but it just tastes like water...i hate being congested...

    i was hoping beaners would get off work early today but it doesn't look like he will. :( so i guess i will have to entertain myself til bout 3 o'clock. hmmmmmm maybe i'll play some James Bond on N64...or Dave Mirra on playstation....why do i like the guy games???????

    we watched jackass the other day. bean made me orer it from columbia house to fufill my membership. i ordered jackass and father of the bride, i still have to order one more before June 21st. Damn bastards. stupid contracts....
    jackass was pretty funny. i mean the people ar pure idiots but its funny to watch them do stupid shit. :P
    beans never seen father of the bride, so i made a deal, i watch jackass, he watches father of the bride... :)

    omg, speaking of weddings. i had a dream about how my proposal would be. i don't wanna even tell about it th because it was soooooooo perfect that i'm hoping he might actually do it someday... *prays*

    well i think im gunna go get some grub and then play some Bond....

    byebye kiddos

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