|Current mood:|| rejected|
|Current music:||i want to hear you sad-the early november|
bad bad bad day
Well, let's see i get to my dad's shop after school, my dad comes up to me says something along the lines of, "wanna move somewhere,new start?" i resond, "what about momma?" and he starts telling me they are getting back together or some crazy crap like that, it all blurred together. He says he wants to sell all of the property and crap we own and move somewhere. Then i get on my dad's cellphone when he isn't looking and look at all of his text msgs. I hate how my parents give me this front, tell me what i want to hear. I do the same thing, but i mean they should know better. Like when im with my mom i trash dad and when im with dad i trash mom, its just how it goes, but its like when dads with me he hates mom and when im with my mom she hates dad, but when they are with each other they just lie through their teeth to each other. So then i just wanted to go play ddr at my friend jeremys house but he had a dentist appointment or something and so GAH, i just want to know whats going on. i dont even know what i want right now. I want to move so so so badly,get a new start.. new friends, new opportunities, just new everything.. but what about kayla and lauren? and what about my family.. my aunt rob and granny ima and all them? i mean i cant just leave them all.. right now kayla's what has kept me sane. I thought i was going to go crazy this weekend when i didnt get to talk to her much with our conflicting schedules. So anyway back to my wonderful life. I go to ballet, didnt know crap, its so irritating, i just want to be like sonja or hanna and know everything lol, but oh well. I cant wait till veritas, its just so wonderful, i had a blast last year.. its just the bomb. I accidently drank a drink with sugar in it, i felt like beating myself up. i want so badly to do this. to get that since of self accomplishment. but yet again i fail myself, lol over a sobe drink. Man i really thought i was going to die, i was in the shower shaving my legs, and i never can get my ankles without cutting them, but i cut accidently a straight cut down the back of my leg and its really really big and ugh ugh i could NOT get it to stop bleeding and im so sqeemish i just couldnt take it so i had toilet paper on my leg and i was holding it down really hard with my eyes closed..i think im going to call my mom.. she freaking said my spirit was dieing and that it needed to be saved before it was too late, like her or some crap like that, i promise.. *sigh* why the heck.. i dunno just let me call her..she didn't pick up, she's probably talking to someone else, because she doesnt know how to answer call waiting on her cell phone.. lol so anyway. joe just calls me up and starts griping me out for stupid stuff, i mean i wish he would just stop and think about what he is saying and doing, and it was hunter who told him all the stuff i said, i swear, i hate when you are best friends with someone, in this case hunter, and you tell them everything, and then when you get mad at them they tell everyone about all the stuff you told them, i mean.. i dont think thats a real friend.. i mean i know kayla or lauren wouldnt do that to me, but whatever, im going to go i think dad wants to talk to me, and im going to try to call mom again.