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CJ (lifes_lessons) wrote,
@ 2004-04-06 19:56:00
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    Current mood: mischievous

    Wondering thoughts of a married women
    I have a small confessions to make...
    My thoughts and feelings have drifted from my marriage. I love my husband, I really do, but we have a lot of problems. Some of which I don't know that we can fix. I have dreams of other men. Detailed dreams. I fantasize, Some times too much. I have slipped a couple of times. Thank God he don't know that. There is this guy... I've know him for a while now, I can't stop thinking about him. I grown very fond of the feelings I get when he's around. I miss him when he's not there. Believe me, I'm not in love with him, by all means... I just like the attention that he shows me . I like the way he makes me feel. I ache for him. I lust for him. I don't know if I could turn him away if he approached me sexually. I took my vows seriously. However, my marriage has become so scarce, I don't think it would matter (to me at least) if I did anything. Sex in my marriage has become none existent. It's completely my fault, I don't want to have sex with him. I don't even get along with him. Why would I, in my right mind, want to have sex (or in his words, Make Love) with anyone I don't get along with. I have temptation all around me! I have been strong for a long time... In the beginning he wasn't ready for the serious commitment of marriage. Now the tables have turned, I don't want to be married. I am young, and full of energy. I should be having fun, not working my butt off trying to pay bills and keep a household together!!! I want to go dancing. I want to get drunk and fuck anyone I choose, if I choose. I want to be able to live MY LIFE to its fullest, live it up, and enjoy it. Is that so wrong???

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