|Current mood:|| weird|
with everything that could possibly go wrong in one week, wouldn't it be great if something would go right???? exams are going to be a killer and right now i'm attempting to find a zillion Shakespeare quotes for the test next week... and i'm not doing so great in there, so i have to do well on this exam. then there's always the excitment of not knowing when your cryptology test is... everything hangs in the gentle balance of me paying attention and with the lack and motivation i seem to be running on lately, i don't think it's likely i'll find a medium anytime soon. prom is coming up and the crushed and bewildered boyfriend seems to be adjusting... i guess he's okay with it. but something really peculiar scared the shit out of me today. i got home from work around 9:45 p.m. and came home to an empty house. bewildered and left alone for the next four hours, i didn't seem to mind too much the idea of being alone. i imagined my parents were dead and gone and all the things i'd have to do inorder to survive without them... but it didn't seem to bother me. instead it was more of a "okay this is what you have to do, then..." blah blah blah type thing. i'm starting to scare myself... it's this desperation to spend time with walker. my parents seem to believe that going out before exams for me is going to be too much work... like i won't be able to balance school and play. but honestly, if my sister, (the far more perfect daughter with straight A's and a planned life), can go out and see her boyfriend, the least my parents can do is get off my back. but they gently point out to me that "she makes better grades then me" so ultimately i have to study more than her inorder to pass. conveniently, she only has two exams, i have four, so my parents say the reason they don't let me go out and let her is because she has half as many exams as i do to study for. however, my mother pointed out the earlier statement... good thing i don't get my self-esteem from them.