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So Obviously Desperate, So Desperately Obvious... (leslieisad0rkus) wrote,
@ 2009-11-05 01:41:00
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    I mean it.
    I wanna rock and roll. I wanna give my soul. I'm wanting to believe I'm not too old.
    Don't wanna make it up. I don't wanna let you down. I wanna fly away, but I'm stuck on the ground.
    So, help me decide, help me to make up, make up my mind. Wouldn't that save you? Wouldn't that save you? Wouldn't that save you?

    Watch it all go by... was it really true? Is that what it was? Was that really you?
    I'm looking back again. I'm tracing back the threads. You said it was a mess, was it just in my head?

    And so, help me decide, help me to make up, make up my mind.
    Oh, wouldn't that save you? Wouldn't that save you? Wouldn't that save you?

    Something's gotta break. You gotta swing the bat. Too many years have died... why is that?

    And so, help me decide, help me to make up, make up my mind.
    Oh, wouldn't that save you? Wouldn't that save you? Wouldn't that save you?






    ***There's nothing that I want more than to save you, but that's not my place anymore. This is me and you on our own and I hope that you can get your life together so that you can be the best possible you, and live your every day stress-free and happy, or at least content. Maybe one day I can witness this better you, and maybe I won't, but for now I will rest assured that you're on your way to proper living and I will sleep easy knowing that you cared enough to realize what you've done wrong and fix whatever it is you need to fix so that this is left in the past and has no place in your future. You're not a horrible person, you're no where close, but I expected you to be perfect and maybe that was my fault. You were good to me and we had great times, but you can be better and those times that weren't sogreat, were really bad and unnecessary, and for that my heart is broken. It's going to take time for me to realize that these things happen and that I need to forgive you for the wrong things that you've done just as you need to forgive yourself. I just wanted nothing more than for you to save me, but that's not my place anymore. You tried and you failed unexpectantly and I understand that that's because you were occupied in yourself and I don't blame you for that... and maybe one day you will try again, but then again maybe you won't. But... I will rest assured and sleep easier knowing that I loved you as best I could and to me that proves that I am capable of letting someone in and I thank you for that; thank you for allowing me to be me and making me smile more genuine smiles in a year than I have my entire life. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing I want more than to save myself, because that's always going to be my place. I loved you and I still do, but I've always and will always love me more. This is me on my own and I need to get my life together to be the best possible me so I can live stress free and happy... or at least content. I hope that one day I can share that me with someone, and maybe that someone will be you and maybe it won't, but overall, let's rest assured and sleep easy knowing that we tried.***


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