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So Obviously Desperate, So Desperately Obvious... (leslieisad0rkus) wrote,
@ 2008-08-02 23:23:00
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    That's what you get when you let your heart win.
    Enter Mike.

    He's great; outgoing, easygoing, caring, adorable, simple, funny, witty, intelligent, honest, mysterious in all the right ways. I have fun when I am with him and sometimes just one of his touches makes me scream on the inside with excitement, but I do find myself holding back from time to time, especially when he's not around and I get to thinking, so the next time I see him, there's no progression since I pull myself back. There's still so much about him that I don't know (but that I would love to know!) and everyone I've ever dated has always been fantastic at first, hence my initial attraction to them. I'm taking this one slow, and I am not going to play stupid games nor will I have him play them with me. This is going to start off as real as possible because that is the only way it can start and if it gets to it, end this thing with closure, with meaning, with real emotion if that develops. I don't want to be with someone that does not want to be with me and in order for him to really want to be with me, he needs to know me and that takes time and a lot of it. Thus far, as much as I wish I could go back to my old habits and pick apart his flaws, I can't seem to find any and even if I did, I think I'd rather learn to love them because he's someone worth giving a chance, even if it's slight and even if it's just for now. I don't want to be on the defensive line with Mike. I want to run a few yards with him and see how good of a team we can really be because I don't give people enough of a chance and in the end, it only hurts me. I don't know what kind of potential this thing has, but I'd be lying to myself and to him if I said that I felt there was none. We do have something, and it's been there from day one... it's just a matter of seeing how long it lasts, or if it does.

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